Loneliness may be the most dangerous epidemic women face, according to this guest post by Shasta Nelson, founder of GirlFriendCircles.com, a web-based service that matches its members with potential girlfriends offline, in real life. Lucky for us, she has some concrete ideas on how to beat loneliness and make new friends in this new year. Shasta also puts her money where her mouth is: She’s giving away a six-month GirlFriendCircles membership to one lucky GirlfriendCelebrations reader! In addition, she is offering YOU discounts on membership and other GirlFriendCircles events. See below for all the details.

By Shasta Nelson
While many of us have stood in line for the flu shot, bought abundant amounts of antibacterial hand soap and increased our daily intake of immune boosting vitamins, research published last month suggests there’s something besides Swine Flu and the common cold that we need to protect ourselves from  – loneliness. And it’s apparently equally, if not more, contagious as run-of-the-mill germs.

The Impact of Loneliness

With the holidays over and social calendars cleared, January becomes one of the loneliest months of the year. A study published in December’s Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that loneliness not only affects our personal health and well-being and the way we treat others, but it also increases the sense of loneliness in our friends, family and neighbors. It can spread from person to person, up to three degrees of separation.

Protect Yourself

Here are three ways to help build your relational immune system this New Year:
Get a Check-Up: Determine your current relational health by evaluating your circle of friends. What friends do you have and what friends are you still hoping to find? Do you have enough local friends? Do you have the women surrounding you that help you feel rooted and supported right where you are?
Is your circle broad enough to accommodate different areas of your life? What interests or types of friends would enhance your life? Are you someone who connects with everyone but needs to pull a few people closer to you in more meaningful ways? Or do you tend to only have a few in your life so that when one of them moves or life changes that you find yourself not knowing who else to call?

Identify Long-Term Health: Write out what it looks and feels like to have a close circle of friends in your life. This step is crucial, but often skipped. While we all know you can’t go to the gym once and all of a sudden reach your health goals, the same is true for our relationships. Hold that truth with a willingness to not give up after a few scheduled events or attempts to reach out. This is one of the most significant health goals of your life and it very well may take three to six months before you can create a sense of belonging and connectedness.

Schedule your Steps: Based upon the awareness from your check-up in step one, you should be able to identify action steps that will foster more meaningful friendships in your life. For example, if you already know plenty of people but need to transition a few of them into something more meaningful, there are two primary ways of deepening friendships: more consistency (most of us will need to connect with someone at least twice a month over three months before we feel close) or more topics of sharing, which means broadening the conversations beyond the area that we currently have in common whether it’s work, our kids or a specific project. What can you commit to trying? Or, if you need to meet new potential friends, be open to trying lots of things such as joining sites like GirlFriendCircles.com, participating in a local choir, inviting your neighbors over for drinks or attending more events where your current network can help introduce you to more people.

This January, drag yourself to the gym and try to eat better, but for all the New Year’s Resolutions you may set, few of them will impact your health, physically, emotionally and relationally, more than surrounding yourself with good friends.

Shasta Nelson is a relationship and transition life coach and CEO of GirlfriendCircles.com, an online community that matches women with offline friends.

Exclusive Discounts

GirlfriendCelebrations readers, use this special discount code: “GFCELEB” to save 20% on any of GirlFriendCircles.com upcoming events:

21 Days of Friendship Journey, starts this Sunday, Jan 10 (workbook and coaching calls— participants can be from anywhere) http://newyearjourney.eventbrite.com/

Portland Speed Friending, Tuesday, Jan 12 (http://portlandspeedfriending.eventbrite.com/)

Seattle Speed Friending, Wednesday, Jan 13 (http://seattlespeedfriending.eventbrite.com/)

Or, receive 20% off membership in GirlFriendCircles.com, the only online community to match new friends offline by connecting circles of women in local areas, to expand your circle of friends!

And Now For the Giveaway

GirlFriendCircles has generously offered to give one of our our readers a 6-month membership free! GirlFriend Circles matches members up with a small “Connecting Circle” of local women first, then after that initial meeting, you are free to use its resources to find other friends in your area as well. Please note the cities in which memberships are currently available: San Francisco and Bay Area, Portland, Seattle, Chicago and New York City. You must be able to use the membership in one of these cities to be eligible.

To enter:

1. Simply leave a comment on this post that says why you would like to try the GirlFriend Circles membership.

2. Tweet this contest for an extra entry.

3. Blog about it, linking back to this post, for an extra two entries.

Contest will remain open until 11:59 PM CST on Friday, January 22, 2010. Winner will be chosen at random from all eligible entries. Good luck, girlfriends! Read the rest of this entry »

Another girlfriend year is coming to a close, so we wanted to look back and remember some of our favorite post of 2009. We’ve had some great ones this year! In fact, narrowing the list down to 10 favorites was tough, but we selected 5 party ideas and 5 articles that we thought represented the best of GirlfriendCelebrations this year. Read on and see if you agree, and let us know in the comments. You can also VOTE for your favorite GirlfriendCelebrations party idea of 2009 in our twtpoll in the left-hand column. If you missed any of these great posts, you may want to consider subscribing to our e-newsletter. That way you’ll never miss a minute of the celebration!

Party Ideas

1. Patio Crawl Tina says: “I like this because it’s hip to host at any age. It can be held virtually anywhere from a large subdivision to a small apartment complex. If you wanted to include the opposite sex, it wouldn’t too hard to modify. What a great way to celebrate the fall season! And last but not least…I secretly really, really, really want to host one of these ~ sounds like so much fun.”

2. Welcome-to-Town Cookie Party Tina says: “I love that you can host this for girls of all ages. It’s a unique twist on the old favorite cookie exchange. It’s a fun way to get the “chore” of seeing all your close friends and extended family without traveling from house to house during the time-crunched holiday season.”
3. Karaoke Girls Night Dawn says: “Classic GirlfriendCelebrations: Fun, easy, cheap, and unique. This is a great Japan-themed girls night to warm up a winter night by bringing out your inner diva.” Read the rest of this entry »

For the healthy, the holiday season can be hectic and harried. For the “Breast Cancer Warrior,” it’s all that and more. As a Breast Cancer Warrior  since November 2005, our girlfriend Brooke Jones knows that holiday gift giving can be challenging. After learning that she had become the 5th of 6 women in her family to hear the words: “You have breast cancer” she created a unique website for women, www.BreastCancerWarrior.net, featuring crucial information, expert articles, links to the Internet’s most-respected breast cancer web sites, and…humor. She hopes to reach every girlfriend with knowledge, education and laughter. So listen on as she guides us through gifts worthy of giving to the girlfriends we love.

By Brooke Jones

If there’s a BC Warrior on your holiday list, you might be asking yourself this question: “What do you give to the person whose one wish is to live?” Though the question is deep, the answer is simple: You give YOU. (and no, I’m not talking organ donation, I’m talking ENERGY donation).

Breast Cancer Warriors frequently describe the exhaustion caused by treatment as ‘feeling like somebody yanked out my batteries”. Every shred of energy is suddenly gone. Who knew it takes energy to just close your eyes? Trust me — it does, and in the midst of chemo and radiation therapy that was almost more energy than I could muster. So, speaking from extensive personal experience, I say to you that one of the greatest gifts you can give to a Breast Cancer Warrior is hands-on assistance with the innumerable tasks of day-to-day living.

And so, I recommend the following free and fabulous holiday gift idea: a Gift Card, from The Store Of You. Made redeemable for any of the following, it will be a priceless gift for the Breast Cancer Warrior in your life:

Babysitting

If the BC Warrior in your life is the mother of youngsters, offer to watch the kids (in your home) on specific days, for specified hours.

Even better: Read the rest of this entry »

Do you have a circle of girlfriends, or just wish you did? For many women, having a “circle of friends” is still a dream. Irene Levine, author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend, explores the “circle” concept and offers her expert advice on how to grow your girlfriend circle. We’re honored to have her guest post, written just for GirlfriendCelebrations. Find out how to win a copy of Irene’s book below!

By Irene S. Levine, PhD (aka The Friendship Doctor)

The idea of a “circle of friends” isn’t new. Beginning in the late 1800s, Amish women formed quilting circles to share expertise and companionship. After they had finished individual patches for a quilt, they would come together (sometimes travelling over relatively long distances) during the spring and summer to lend a hand to one another in piecing them together. The quilters socialized as they sewed, catching up on gossip and developing long-lasting bonds that became part of the fabric of the Amish culture.

The desire to have an embracing circle of female friends hasn’t diminished but still remains elusive for many women. When I interviewed Jeffrey Zaslow, author of The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women and a Forty-Year Friendship, which chronicles the story of an exceptional friendship among 11 women that has extended over four decades, he told me two types of readers had written him: those who have a circle of friends similar to the “Girls” and those who wish they did! It’s easy to understand why many women without a tight-knit circle of friends would covet one for companionship, support and comfort they offer.

But as women graduate, marry, mother, divorce, move, or change work, often not even in any particular order, their lives often diverge and they find it difficult to maintain old friendships, let alone friendship circles. The girlfriends someone made in elementary and high school may live in other states or other nations. (One study of college students, found that the average student moved more than six times over the course of 19 years, and that the average distance between friends was 895 miles).  Your co-workers are more likely to hop from job to job than ever before, or decide to change their career paths entirely.

Don’t get me wrong. Not every woman wants or needs a circle. In my survey of more than 1500 women for my new book, Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend, I found that certain personality factors may predispose some women to gravitate towards circles as opposed to one-on-one relationships. For example, compared to introverts, extroverts often enjoy having a larger number of friendships and may be more likely to relish the dynamics of a group. Or they may so thrive on being with people, that they like being part of circles as well as being part of twosomes.

If you are a person who feels even a tinge of circle envy, and there are many reasons why you would, there are still opportunities to forge a sisterhood later in life. One of the keys to creating a circle is creating or finding some natural affinity group that has the potential for longevity and creating rituals to bind the ties of friendship.

The Friendship Doctor’s Prescription for Circle Envy

• Join a knitting group, sewing circle, book club or cooking club;
• Organize a regular canasta, bridge, Bunco, Scrabble or mah-jongg game;
• Volunteer as part of a smaller group attached to a larger religious or civic organization;
• Volunteer at a museum or hospital;
• Become part of a church or faith-based community;
• Adopt a cause, such as conservation or animal welfare, or a political action group
• Join a support group of women who share a common problem
• [Editor's Note: One more suggestion: Look into Girlfriend Circles, a service that introduces you to potential friends in your area.]

With any luck, you will form natural ties within the group, Then, you can figure out ways to strengthen them at GirlfriendCelebrations!

Irene S. Levine, PhD is an award-winning freelance journalist and author who is trained as a psychologist. She blogs about female friendships on The Huffington Post and on The Friendship Blog. Her book, Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend, was just published by Overlook Press. She is also a professor of psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine.

Now For the Giveaway!

When we first heard that Irene Levine was writing Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend, we were a little dismayed. After all, friendship breakups are no fun. But now that Irene’s book has hit bookstores and we’ve read our copy cover to cover, we can truly say: This book should be on the bookshelf of every woman who cares about female friendship. Not only is it filled with the kind of smart advice Irene dispenses regularly on The Friendship Blog, it is warm, comforting and takes the shame out of losing a friendship. This book can help you come to terms with the friendships you have lost (and we’ve ALL lost girlfriends and wondered why) and give you hope for new friendships to come. It’s easy to read, and contains loads of scannable advice for us short-attention-span gals. Just read it! We’re giving away TWO COPIES of this fabulous book, courtesy of Irene Levine! To enter, simply:

1. Leave a comment on this post stating why you want the book, AND/OR

2. Re-tweet this contest using the hashtag #GirlfriendCelebrations and this link: http://bit.ly/32ugH4

Two winners will be chosen at random from all entries received by 11:59 PM on Thursday, September 24, 2009. Winner must have a U.S. shipping address. Good luck! Read the rest of this entry »

Hey y’all: Getaway Girl™ Casey Wohl is back and she’s “keeping it weird” in Austin, Texas. Her nicely detailed account gives you plenty of ideas for the perfect fall girlfriend getaway. We are so ready to go! Enjoy!

by Casey Wohl

My friend Ali and I had a fantastic time in Austin, Texas. We arrived on a Thursday and were greeted by Ashley, who drove us to the 405-acre Hyatt Regency Lost Pines Resort & Spa, which is 20 miles away from downtown Austin and used to be a pecan orchard.

With 492 guest rooms, most with private balcony or patio, the resort brings jeans and business suits together in a comfortable ranch-style setting. Activities here are endless, from Spa Django to the Renegade Equestrian Center to the Wolfdancer Golf Club, as well as hiking in McKinney Roughs Nature Park, white water rafting on the Colorado River, and fun-in-the-sun at the Crooked River Water Park. We enjoyed massages and an amazing dinner at Stories Restaurant that included five courses and items such as scallops, lobster, venison, quail and filet mignon. It was wonderful!
The next morning, we headed back to town to our host hotel, The Driskill Hotel. Built in 1886 as a cattle barron’s showplace, The Driskill is located in downtown Austin with 189 guestrooms and suites distributed between the original Historic Wing and the Traditional Wing, which was added in 1929. No detail is forgotten inside or out as the hotel features a very ornate exterior complete with flags out front, a beautiful columned lobby; original art, oil paintings, and precious antiques; ornate beds designed exclusively for the hotel; marble floors and stained-glass dome. The Driskill has hosted celebs such as Dennis Quaid and Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton. Singer Jewel filmed her latest video here and both Lance Armstrong and President George W. Bush held press conferences here. Read the rest of this entry »

Big life events call for big celebrations, and who better to celebrate with than our girlfriends? Women are well-versed at celebrating milestones. Most of us can throw a baby shower or plan a wedding shower with our eyes closed. But when life throws you a curve, you need a new twist on the traditional girlfriend celebrations. For example: The Stepmom Shower! Izzy Rose, author of The Package Deal: My (not-so) Glamorous Transition from Single Gal to Instant Mom shares how to throw one in this post, written especially for GirlfriendCelebrations. Izzy’s not a wicked stepmother, but she does have a wicked sense of humor, so enjoy, girlfriends!

by Izzy Rose

Single gals—have you noticed that the dating pool has changed recently? There’s a new ripple in it: Many of the eligible bachelors out there are hardly single. They come with small versions of themselves and an ex-wife! If you have a girlfriend who has recently taken the marital plunge and surfaced with a man plus kids, celebrate this life transition by throwing her a Stepmom Shower: an afternoon of girlfriend adoration and indulgence! Unlike the traditional baby shower where mama-to-be receives gifts for the survival of the newborn, the stepmom shower honors the grown woman, similarly thrust into an unknown world, just as naïve and in need of care. Because our girlfriends know best how to comfort us in times of uncertainty and stress, the Stepmom Shower celebrates female friendship, good humor and applauds the bravery required to plug into a family that existed long before you came along.

The setting

The “celebrated” shows up to the location of her choosing (shooting range, ice arena, wine bar, poolside cabana) in her wedding dress. (I don’t know about you, but I’ve just been waiting for an excuse to put on my Cinderella gown on again.) All attending ladies are asked to wear a retired bridesmaid dress.

Food and drink

What your girlfriend needs is some good, old-fashioned nurturing … not a low calorie meal! I suggest you ditch the healthy crudités, bust out the butter cookies and turn on the martini fountain.

The gifts

Give her something she will really appreciate, and use. A single gal turned insta-mom to half-grown kids has no need for bum powder and babydoll socks. If your girlfriend is going to survive stepmotherhood, she must remember to take care of herself. Here are a few of my favorite stepmom shower gifts:

A case (or box) of wine

1 pound of French cheese (crackers included)

90-minute massage

Xanax sampler pack

New lipsticks

Games

It wouldn’t be a shower without a competitive game, now would it? Since all of you will be in wedding attire that screams to be shown off, create a makeshift runway in the house (long hallways are perfect), turn on Gloria Gaynor’s “I will Survive,” and take turns walking the runway of America’s Next Top Mama.

The guest of honor will judge all participants and choose one winner based on the following criteria:
Attitude (Turn up the sass!)

Design (Ruffles, bows and lace! Who combines them all?)

Color (Go bold! Turquoise and electric pink are guaranteed crowd-pleasers.)

For a prize, consider a copy of my book, The Package Deal: My (not-so) Glamorous Transition from Single Gal to Instant Mom.

Izzy Rose is the author of The Package Deal: My (not-so) Glamorous Transition from Single Gal to Instant Mom, and is the founder of www.stepmothersmilk.com, a humorous blog and resource site for the modern-day stepmom. She lives in Austin, Texas with her husband and his two sons. Read the rest of this entry »

Swimsuit season not going the way you planned? Enlist the partnership of a girlfriend to help you eat right and get to the size you want! Kami Gray, author of The Denim Diet: Sixteen Simple Habits to Get You into Your Dream Pair of Jeans, wrote this post just for Girlfriend Celebrations, revealing the healthy eating secrets she shares with her best friend. As we know, everything’s better with a girlfriend, and eating right is no exception. Enjoy!

Read the rest of this entry »

In Part 1, Christine Arylo helped us define the kinds of friends we would like to have. In part two, she takes it a step further by identifying four friendship rings and the expectations we should have for each. 

By Christine Arylo

Not all girlfriends are the same – we have different friends for different reasons. Some are closer than others… some you connect with because of work or shared interests, or because you’ve known each other for years. When you understand the different levels of friendships, a.k.a. your Friendship Rings, you’re empowered to ask for and get what you need from every friend. Unknown, unmet and unexpressed, expectations are one of the major causes of friendships failure.

Action: Define your expectations for each Friendship Ring. On a piece of paper, draw a set of four concentric circles, one for each ring. Then list your expectations for each. Your expectations should differ depending on the type of friendship.

 Soul Sisters: Your closest circle. You share your lives.

 You may all have different mothers but these women are your heart and soul. They’re here for you in the best and worst of times. You can expect that they will pick up the phone when you call at 2 a.m. with a broken heart; that you can share all of yourself with them—the good and the ugly—and they will love you anyway; and that you can be completely honest about your feelings, even when you’re angry, and that they will listen and work with you to create an even deeper friendship.

Good Time Gals. You have fun with these girls. You share a good time.

You chat. You laugh. You never go too deep. You can expect that they will invite you to do things with you and accept the invitations you give; that they follow through on what they say they are going to do; and that when you’re together you can share what’s going on in your life and get some good advice, but nothing too deep.

Affectionate Aficionados. You work at the same company, belong to the same club, or run in the same social circles, but that’s as far as it goes. You share common interests.

You can expect that you will have a good time when you are together; that you will share your enthusiasm for your common interest but maybe not much more; and that they add good energy to your life, not suck it away or create drama. You can also expect that when that common interests shifts, you may no longer stay friends.

Read the rest of this entry »

Hey, girlfriends! We’re so excited to bring you this guest post from the dynamic Christine Arylo, self-love expert and developer of the Create Fabulous Friendships program. Christine wrote this article,  just for Girlfriend Celebrations readers. In it, she guides you through three questions to help you get clear on who you really want to call “girlfriend.” Look for part two on Monday!

by Christine Arylo

If you were asked, “What’s the biggest challenge you face to create the friendships you really want,” what would you say?

I’m going to let you in on a secret. Your biggest challenge is not time or the inability to meet new people. Your biggest challenge is you. You determine both the quantity and quality of your friendships based on who you are and how well you know who you want as a girlfriend, regardless of who’s in your circle today. Think about it. You wouldn’t consider dating or getting married without giving thought to who your mate is. Yet, even though we have close, intimate relationships with our girlfriends, we rarely give conscious thought to the kind of women they are. Instead, we choose friends by chance or duty, and with the busy lives we lead, you can’t afford to waste your friendtime on friendships based on obligation or on friendships that take more than they give.

If you’ve never stopped to ask yourself questions like, “What kind of women do I want in my life? Does my current circle of friends reflect the kind of energy I want to surround myself with?” chances are you are missing out on some great friendship opportunities, and spending too much energy on ones that don’t give you what you really want.

If you know who you want as a friend, you’re much more likely to attract that kind of person into your life. And she is much more likely to fit the life you are creating for yourself. So do yourself a favor, and take the time to get clear on who you really want to call girlfriend and why. Ask yourself the following questions using the action activities to get you crystal clear on your answers.

Questions For Creating Fabulous Friendships

QUESTION 1:  Why do I want friends?

It seems like a no-brainer question. Who doesn’t want friends, right? True, but this is a question worth answering because your response will tell you a lot about what you expect friendships to do for you. We all have different motivations, most of us just don’t know what they are.

Read the rest of this entry »