Loneliness may be the most dangerous epidemic women face, according to this guest post by Shasta Nelson, founder of GirlFriendCircles.com, a web-based service that matches its members with potential girlfriends offline, in real life. Lucky for us, she has some concrete ideas on how to beat loneliness and make new friends in this new year. Shasta also puts her money where her mouth is: She’s giving away a six-month GirlFriendCircles membership to one lucky GirlfriendCelebrations reader! In addition, she is offering YOU discounts on membership and other GirlFriendCircles events. See below for all the details.

By Shasta Nelson
While many of us have stood in line for the flu shot, bought abundant amounts of antibacterial hand soap and increased our daily intake of immune boosting vitamins, research published last month suggests there’s something besides Swine Flu and the common cold that we need to protect ourselves from  – loneliness. And it’s apparently equally, if not more, contagious as run-of-the-mill germs.

The Impact of Loneliness

With the holidays over and social calendars cleared, January becomes one of the loneliest months of the year. A study published in December’s Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that loneliness not only affects our personal health and well-being and the way we treat others, but it also increases the sense of loneliness in our friends, family and neighbors. It can spread from person to person, up to three degrees of separation.

Protect Yourself

Here are three ways to help build your relational immune system this New Year:
Get a Check-Up: Determine your current relational health by evaluating your circle of friends. What friends do you have and what friends are you still hoping to find? Do you have enough local friends? Do you have the women surrounding you that help you feel rooted and supported right where you are?
Is your circle broad enough to accommodate different areas of your life? What interests or types of friends would enhance your life? Are you someone who connects with everyone but needs to pull a few people closer to you in more meaningful ways? Or do you tend to only have a few in your life so that when one of them moves or life changes that you find yourself not knowing who else to call?

Identify Long-Term Health: Write out what it looks and feels like to have a close circle of friends in your life. This step is crucial, but often skipped. While we all know you can’t go to the gym once and all of a sudden reach your health goals, the same is true for our relationships. Hold that truth with a willingness to not give up after a few scheduled events or attempts to reach out. This is one of the most significant health goals of your life and it very well may take three to six months before you can create a sense of belonging and connectedness.

Schedule your Steps: Based upon the awareness from your check-up in step one, you should be able to identify action steps that will foster more meaningful friendships in your life. For example, if you already know plenty of people but need to transition a few of them into something more meaningful, there are two primary ways of deepening friendships: more consistency (most of us will need to connect with someone at least twice a month over three months before we feel close) or more topics of sharing, which means broadening the conversations beyond the area that we currently have in common whether it’s work, our kids or a specific project. What can you commit to trying? Or, if you need to meet new potential friends, be open to trying lots of things such as joining sites like GirlFriendCircles.com, participating in a local choir, inviting your neighbors over for drinks or attending more events where your current network can help introduce you to more people.

This January, drag yourself to the gym and try to eat better, but for all the New Year’s Resolutions you may set, few of them will impact your health, physically, emotionally and relationally, more than surrounding yourself with good friends.

Shasta Nelson is a relationship and transition life coach and CEO of GirlfriendCircles.com, an online community that matches women with offline friends.

Exclusive Discounts

GirlfriendCelebrations readers, use this special discount code: “GFCELEB” to save 20% on any of GirlFriendCircles.com upcoming events:

21 Days of Friendship Journey, starts this Sunday, Jan 10 (workbook and coaching calls— participants can be from anywhere) http://newyearjourney.eventbrite.com/

Portland Speed Friending, Tuesday, Jan 12 (http://portlandspeedfriending.eventbrite.com/)

Seattle Speed Friending, Wednesday, Jan 13 (http://seattlespeedfriending.eventbrite.com/)

Or, receive 20% off membership in GirlFriendCircles.com, the only online community to match new friends offline by connecting circles of women in local areas, to expand your circle of friends!

And Now For the Giveaway

GirlFriendCircles has generously offered to give one of our our readers a 6-month membership free! GirlFriend Circles matches members up with a small “Connecting Circle” of local women first, then after that initial meeting, you are free to use its resources to find other friends in your area as well. Please note the cities in which memberships are currently available: San Francisco and Bay Area, Portland, Seattle, Chicago and New York City. You must be able to use the membership in one of these cities to be eligible.

To enter:

1. Simply leave a comment on this post that says why you would like to try the GirlFriend Circles membership.

2. Tweet this contest for an extra entry.

3. Blog about it, linking back to this post, for an extra two entries.

Contest will remain open until 11:59 PM CST on Friday, January 22, 2010. Winner will be chosen at random from all eligible entries. Good luck, girlfriends! Read the rest of this entry »

Congratulations to our winner Sarah D.! Contest is now closed, but read on for GREAT New Year’s Eve party ideas. What are you doing New  Year’s Eve? No plans, you say? Well, we bet you have some gal pals in the same boat. Why not invite them over for an easy appetizer party and ring in the New Year together? With a little help from our friends at The Pampered Chef and their you can easily make an elegant appetizer buffet for your girlfriends to enjoy. We’re giving away this cocktail shaker and ice bucket to a lucky girlfriend to help you have a successful girls night in. But we’ll have to hurry to get it to you by New Years Eve, so this contest will end Sunday, December 27. Read on for party ideas and contest details. Read the rest of this entry »

Congratulations to Trin! Thanks to all who entered. Hey, girlfriends! As you may know, we just opened our t-shirt and gifts shop on Cafe Press, and we’d sure love you to consider our “Girlfriends Make Life Better” items when you’re making up your holiday gift lists. We’ve added some “gifty” items to the top of the shop for the holidays.

You’ll find aprons, ornaments, and more. Scroll down a bit and you’ll find t-shirts for any body— from organic fitted, to ringer tees to plus size. We’re so excited about these cute designs that we wanted to give away a t-shirt to celebrate! So, just to say “Happy Holidays” to our readers, we are giving the t-shirt of your choice to a lucky winner!

How to enter: It’s SO simple!

1.Just visit our Cafe Press shop RIGHT HERE and have a look around.

2. Then, come back and leave a comment telling us which item is your favorite. We’d appreciate any feedback you have on the items too! Read the rest of this entry »

Winners have been notified. Check your email! Ah, motherhood. So rewarding, so challenging, so…hilarious? Mother’s Day is just around the corner, girlfriends, and it’s not too early to start thinking about your mom and all she means to you…and Mother’s Day gifts, of course! We’ve got just the antidote to those sappy Mother’s Day cards and gifts. Have you visited the website PostcardsFromYoMomma? It’s a hilarious collection of emails from people’s moms. Started by two girlfriends, Doree Shafrir and Jessica Grose, PostcardsFromYoMomma became an online sensation just days after launching. Now, these smart ladies are bringing us an alternative to mushy Mother’s Day items with Love, Mom: Poignant, Goofy, Brilliant Messages from Home(248 pages, 2009, Hyperion). This little hardcover is filled with laugh-out-loud moments. Warning: It’s hard to put down! Doree and Jessica were kind enough to answer a few questions just for GirlfriendCelebrations.com. Read on for the interview. Then, see the end of this post to find out how you can win one of FIVE free copies of the book. It makes a great, giggle-inducing gift for anyone who is a mom or just has a mom!

Q. How did this project get started?

Jessica: My mother sent me a particularly ridiculous email, and I thought it was so funny I sent it to Doree. Her immediate reaction was, OMG, my mom sends me emails just like this! It was during the work day, and Doree went out to get some ice cream—upon her return she said, let’s put these up on a website. So we started the site and sent out an email to our closest friends asking for submissions. After only a few days, we realized we had stumbled on something that people really related to.

Q. Were you girlfriends before this project? How has working together affected your friendship? (or vice versa?) 

Doree: We were friendly before the project started but we didn’t know each other very well—we mostly IMed during the day but we hadn’t hung out that much one-on-one. One of the nicest parts of doing this project together was that we became much closer friends. We also (fortunately!) discovered that we work really well together.

Q. What have you learned about moms or about motherhood from doing this project?

Doree/Jessica: We realized that no matter what a mother is saying—whether she’s nagging you about writing thank-you notes, gabbing about her latest shoe purchase, or just saying hi—she’s doing it from a place of love and concern. Even though we sometimes roll our eyes at our moms’ emails, doing this gave us a greater appreciation for just how much they want the best for us.
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[Congratulations to Natalie Tucker Miller. Look for a new giveaway soon!] Just hitting the New York Times best-seller list, The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter, and the Town That Raised Them (225 pages, 2009, Hyperion) is an affectionate, witty memoir by Chicago Tribune advice columnist Amy Dickinson (”Ask Amy”). We know you’re going to enjoy this book, girlfriends! It’s an inspiring read about accepting oneself, prevailing in the face of failures, and doing it all supported by a band of women who can’t get enough of each other. From celebrating her “dorkitude” to pondering “Livestock in the Kitchen,” Dickinson is endearingly candid as she tells the story of being a single mother to daughter Emily, finding herself professionally, and realizing the ultimate happy ending. This is a book you’ll want to grab for a book club or pass among your girlfriends group. For a chance to a get a free copy, see the end of this post. But first, read our interview with the author. Imagine our thrill at having our own personal chance to “Ask Amy” about female friendship! She graciously dished with us about the Mighty Queens, how to make friends, what she wants women to learn from her book, and more. And yes, she was every bit as nice, warm and bubbly as you’d imagine!

Q. Who are the Mighty Queens of Freeville, and what makes them mighty?

A. Well, my daughter assigned this [title], ironically, to my mother and my aunts because, of course, we live in this cruddy little town, so it was originally an ironic title, and we laughed about it, but then, I think it became true. And one of the things I realized after I finished writing the book was that Emily and I had assumed our place in the hierarchy. And so, the Mighty Queens are the women in my world who know and love us, who nurture and support us, who laugh at our jokes. It’s sort of about being appreciated, on the one hand; on the other hand, they are in charge of their own destiny. All of these women were single mothers raising kids. They are independent, they’re smart, they’re snappy, they’re funny, and they take care of one another. That’s what passes for royalty around here. 

Q. Most of the women in your book are related to you. For people who don’t have a really strong family base, can girlfriends fill that role? 

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[Congratulations to Karin A. Look for a new giveaway soon!] We told you February was going to be fun, and here’s a great girly giveaway to prove it! We love to bring you new resources to make planning your girls nights easier. EnzoAndLola.com is a new boutique website featuring “gracious gifts and fabulous finds.” They offer personalized gifts, home decor, and other hand-picked items for every occasion. We think they are a terrific source for party favors and hostess gifts that look posh without breaking the bank. (Example: The Bloembox seeds, as seen on Oprah, would make a beautiful party favor for any spring girls night, bridal shower or even baby shower). EnzoAndLola has partnered with us to give away a fun little Valentine gift package that benefits you and your girlfriends! Lucky winner receives all three fabulous items: Invite your single gal pals over for a Valentine-themed girls nights and use the Girl’s Night Out Game Kit to get conversation flowing. You’ll enjoy getting ready with a  3-Piece Embroidered Cosmetic Bag Set and make plans for your next girlfriend getaway, so you can use your (pink!) Embroidered Luggage Tag.  More details below:

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[Congratulations to Kathleen Marshall. She will be receiving her t-shirt directly from Chat Chew & Chocolate!] For today’s giveaway, we’re partnering with Chat, Chew & Chocolate, an events and education company devoted to female friendship—”serving fun, friendship and inspiration with a side of chocolate!”  Please pay their website a visit and see their fun e-community, browse the merchandise (including their great chocolate party kit) and learn from their lifestyle experts. They share our passion for girlfriends AND for parties, so we were super excited when they offered to give one of our readers their signature t-shirt!

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[Congratulations to Irene Levine for winning the aqua teardrops necklace! YOU could be next!] We’re officially in the holiday spirit, girlfriends, and YOU are getting all the presents! For the next 12 days we’re giving away free stuff, so don’t miss out! You could win the perfect holiday gift for a gal pal (or yourself). From jewelry to books to coffee, we’re giving away some of the great girlfriend gifts to be featured in our Girlfriend Gift Guides over the next few weeks. Check back every day to see the day’s prize. Our final prize is really exciting, too; we can’t reveal too much but it involves chocolate! And best of all, GirlfriendCelebrations.com email subscribers only need to enter once to be in all 12 drawings. This is just our way of sharing our excitement about the holidays with you all. We’re so glad to have you here! Ready to win some holiday swag? See the contest rules and today’s sparkly prize after the jump!

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