For many, making new friends can be a daunting project.  Let’s face it, putting yourself out there to risk feeling rejected is a shoe than many are not eager to fill. But studies show that finding girlfriends to laugh with and confide in will  not only make you feel better, but can be a life saver as well. Our girlfriend Jessica over at The Improbable Housewife has had to put on that shoe of

A lot of love in the room

By Jessica, The Improbable Housewife

Are You a Recluse? Girl, You Need to Get a Friend!

Are you one of those people who make friends easily? Do you thrive in social situations? Have you ever thought that the quiet individual hanging back on the side of the group must be stuck up or unfriendly? Why isn’t she participating in the conversation… after all, it is just the girls. Or, are you that girl?

Do You Have a Difficult Time Making Friends?

Be Confident
Have you ever thought of faking it until you make it? Simply put: Act more confident than you are until you become the confident person you want to be. It really can work.

Case in point: I was shy at heart, introverted to a fault, and was never one to start up conversations with strangers. It wasn’t a bad thing; it was just who I was.

Then I found myself trapped in a stressful situation and I needed a friend. My husband was on an overseas military remote assignment and I was left setting up a new home after a move across the country with a two-year-old and an infant. You heard me right, I needed a friend. This wasn’t optional; it simply had to happen for my sanity.

Where do you find new friends?

Look in your comfort zone

Have you ever moved to a new area where you had to start all over? Or, maybe you are just at a crossroads in your life and you need friends who share common interests? You don’t have to be afraid to take the leap to make new friendships. Take baby steps. Yes, you need to step outside your comfort zone, but it can be done in places where you are comfortable.

Parks

If you are a mom with young children, your neighborhood park is the perfect place to make friends. Moms are there with their kids and want to have adult conversations. I guarantee you won’t be the only one there open to a new friendship.

Work

Do you have a coworker you like to chat with? Make a date for a girl’s night out! You’re already friendly, so this is just taking an extra step.

Community

Are you new in the neighborhood? Strike up a conversation with your neighbor while you are out in the yard and ask if they know of a neighborhood Girls Night Out. Then GO!

Kids’ Activities

Do you talk to any of the moms at your child’s sporting events? Why not? You have something in common; you might as well be chummy while you’re watching… especially if there are a lot of practices involved.

Step Outside The Box

There are so many places where you can meet people, have conversations and make friends if you choose to step outside your box and expose yourself to the possibility of rejection. Yes, we are all afraid of it. Really, we shouldn’t be. You’ve heard it before… if at first you don’t succeed, try again.

What are ways that you step outside your comfort zone to establish friendships?

GirlfriendCelebrations would love to hear your tips for making new friends. Be a friend: Leave a comment or tip for the next girlfriend about how to try on that shoe of uncertainty, take a risk and make a new friend. After all, a girl can never have too many girlfriends, can she?

Having an adventure together is a proven way to get closer to your girlfriends. Appearing on Oprah together definitely qualifies! We couldn’t wait for Melissa Mellott to share this Real Girlfriends story and we know you’ll enjoy it.

by Melissa Mellott

I have an amazing group of girlfriends – educated, funny, quirky, beautiful … and single and looking for love. Conversations in a week can look like a scene from Sex in the City – talk of careers, mishaps from blind dates (”did he really say that?”) and bikini waxes (”what’s a landing strip”?) and analyzing our love lives, all done in the “privacy” of over-the-cubicle comments (during breaks of course) or in a cozy coffee shop sipping a cappuccino.

Camera ready!

Recently while browsing the Oprah website, I came upon a link: “Do you need dating advice?” Given recent conversations with my girlfriends, I think I double-clicked in a millisecond. After a quick two minutes of venting dating dilemmas on the Oprah site (it was great therapy), I moved onto another distraction.

You can imagine my surprise when I got a call the next day from Jason, an Oprah producer, who asked if my girlfriends and I would want to be on that Friday’s LIVE show via Skype to talk about dating with Steve Harvey, the author of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment. And in a matter of a couple days, three of my (Oprah-crazy and boy-crazy) girlfriends were prepping with Jason for Friday’s LIVE show via Skype.

Anticipation

“And Skyping in from my favorite city Santa Barbara are Melissa and her friends with dating questions” was going to be the introduction, according to Jason, as he prepped us through the Skype session.

Getting ready to Skype

Thursday night, we were all anticipating the early morning LIVE taping at 7:00 am. And then … hours away from getting our dating woes answered and getting to talk with Oprah, my cell phone rang and it was Jason explaining that we had been bumped due to “breaking news” (He warned us of this possibility from the beginning because it is LIVE). Despite our disappointment, all of us felt like the past few days had been such a celebration of our singlehood and friendship. You can imagine how much we laughed when we watched the Oprah show that Friday afternoon only to find out that we had been bumped because of Paula Deen dropping her drawers (accidentally on her t.v. show). Perhaps Paula’s booty is more entertaining than a group of gorgeous single gals from Santa Barbara?

Strangely enough, my gal pals and me were not too upset by getting bumped; as amazing single-luck would have it, Jason offered Oprah tickets to us! Given the fact we had each been trying to get Oprah tickets since we were 20 years old, it took us another millisecond to pick a date, get a flight and take an adventure trip to Chicago!

Adventure

Can I just tell you this was a girl’s dream come true?! It was a perfect weekend in Chicago, we stayed downtown, ate way too much pizza, took an architectural tour…and oh yeah, went to the Oprah Show! We had our camera-ready outfits on and got up-close audience seats! The show was a Friday live-chat show and Robin Thicke was a guest; we were so close to Oprah and she was vibrant (and only several feet from us!) After the show wrapped, we were chosen to be part of a summer promotion taping, so we got to take a tour of the back studio, meet more producers and just hang out longer – this was getting better and better (You may see our cute faces on summer commercials promoting the Oprah show!) It was a wrap … we were on girlfriend cloud 9, just floating through Chicago. That trip was in May; we still are giddy about it and every woman we know wants us to tell the story again!

Shopping at Oprah store

Here’s the thing – being at the Oprah show was a dream come true for all of us; it was truly amazing, but the adventure and anticipation of getting there and all of the things we went through together as friends were the most fun. It was an incredible bonding experience!

Melissa Mellott is a regular GirlfriendCelebrations contributor and blogs about spa health at SpaDefined.

We want to hear YOUR real girlfriend stories! If you have one to share, email us. You could be featured next on GirlfriendCelebrations.com!

We love to feature your Real Girlfriend stories, and we haven’t done so in a while. So, here’s one that’s long overdue. A reader named Denise wrote to us several months ago, and stayed in touch with us about her own girlfriend group. We simply love it when you use one of our girls night ideas and let us know how it goes. So in her own words, here’s Denise’s Real Girlfriend story: I have a group a girlfriends that embrace the friendship concept to it’s fullest. Our group is called “The Rough Riders.” Every year we head up to a horse ranch in New York and spend up to five days of relaxation, laughter, horseback riding, pampering ourselves and great food. I don’t know what I would do without these girls! We call it our Rough Rider Life Line. Our group is normally 10 women strong and our ages range from 30-ish to 50-ish, and our motto that we live by is “It’s All About Me!”.

In the past we’ve organized pedicure and manicures, wine and cheese, pumpkin carving and wee gee [Ouija] board games, karaoke night, facials and makeovers. So when I came across your party ideas section I had to see if there was something we haven’t done. We were heading up to the ranch in November and I suggested a “Pink Elephant” theme and the girls loved the idea. I also copied the “Which Wine are You” quiz…so keep the ideas coming! I’ve attached the photos I took the night we did the “Pink Elephant Theme”. It was a hit and all the girls really enjoyed it. We had a great time as we always do every year. It really doesn’t matter what we do. We enjoy each other’s company.

Rough Rider Group (L-R) Denise Coco (RR Double D), Denise Erdman (RR Stubby D), Tracy Lockhart, Cathy Malfale, Lynn McCall (in front with pink tiara), Roberta Cote (in back), Kim Blaisdell, Sue McCall

Thanks, Denise (aka Rough Rider Double D)

What do you do with your girlfriends? We’d love to hear your REAL GIRLFRIEND story and see photos from your girls night out, girls night in, girlfriend gatherings or girlfriend getaways. Just click here to email us. You may see yourself next on GirlfriendCelebrations.com! If we publish your story, we’ll send you a small “thank you” gift too!

Hey girlfriends! Did you know today is National Chocolate Day? What a great excuse for a snack! And speaking of chocolate, you may remember a couple of weeks ago we told you about our girlfriend Vicki’s idea for a Pink Elephant Chocolate Exchange. Vicki hosted this fun, multigenerational party for a girlfriend with breast cancer, and it was a big success. Well, since we published that post, Vicki was kind enough to send pictures and more details.  When our readers share their stories with us, we feel truly honored, and touched enough to want to share them with you. Today, being National Chocolate Day and still part of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, seemed like the perfect day to remind you about this great girls night idea.

You can read about how to have your own chocolate exchange here. The basics: Invite your girlfriends to bring a gift of chocolate, wrapped in pink. Then, the rules of the white elephant (or as we like to say in girlfriend land, “pink elephant”) gift exchange apply. See our article here for the rules.

We’ll let Vicki tell you how her event got started, and how it’s grown: “In 2004 we had eight ladies decide to go out to dinner to celebrate with our friend her first year cancer-free. She loves chocolate, so we each brought gifts of chocolate. It is now a chocolate event. Each year we grow. Someone will ask

to bring a friend and that friend gets added to the invitation list for the next year. We had 29 girlfriends attend this year. In the past, we were small enough to gather at a local restaurant but I felt we were getting too large and occupying a table too long for the gift exchange, so I moved it to my home this year. The party decorations emphasize breast cancer awareness, but the emphasis throughout the evening is friendships.”

We think this girlfriend party idea has it all: fun, meaning and chocolate! It’s a great complement to our Little Pink Party and an uplifting way of supporting a girlfriend with breast cancer. Congratulations, Vicki and friends, on a fun, supportive girlfriend event. Look at all that PINK! Thanks for sharing the pictures of all your smiling faces. We really appreciate it!

Do you have a real girls night, girlfriend gathering or party idea you want to share? We’re waiting to hear from you. Use the comment form below or talk to us!  

You girlfriends never cease to amaze us with your spirit, ingenuity, and dedication to female friendship! Our Canadian reader Marlene recently wrote us to share her success with a girlfriend get-together she held for her daughter (lucky girl!). We loved Marlene’s cute, girly party favors, and Marlene’s friend Grace wrote a lovely poem for the occasion. But what we loved the most was that Marlene recognized the importance of female friendship in her daughter’s life and did something about it! Read on for the whole scoop and get some inspiration for your next girls night or girlfriend party.

Marlene wrote: “This spring I invited my daughter’s girlfriends for brunch with the theme being ‘Celebrating women’s friendships.’ The color scheme was pink and white, including pink and white tablecloth, dishes and napkins. I changed the paintings on the wall to that of women. For a party favor to take home, I took terra cotta pots and painted them flesh tone, sculpted noses and ears (which I glued on) and painted facial features on them, wrapped a bandana around the top of the pot then added a decorative pin. In the pot I placed chocolate with a verse about friendship and chocolate, a notecard from Mary Englebreit stating ‘A constant Friend is a thing rare and hard to find’ (with the idea that later they send this card with a written note to a friend), a sticky note pad of flowers with the message written ‘call a friend, today’, and a packet of cosmos seeds with the poem written by my friend Grace just for my daughter’s celebration.

‘As women, let’s celebrate our friendship
As we gather here today
Let’s plant these seeds together
To create a beautiful bouquet
We cannot see the roots form
For they are hidden deep inside
In time, just like all friendships
They grow and begin to bind
As we cultivate them with water
Let it be a reminder from the start
That the roots of a woman’s friendship
Is planted deeply in the heart
Flowers share their scent with others
God’s gift to you and me
May our friendships, like the flower
Be all that God intended them to be.’
–written by Grace White

“The poem was printed on pink paper adorned with a flower from scrapbooking supplies and the seeds were attached to the back of poem. (The women did plant the seeds and thought of that day and their friend, Marla).

“Also included was “Which Wine are You” from your GirlfriendCelebrations.com. I also downloaded music about women and friendships and so forth for them to listen to as they drove home.

“My daughter’s husband had been studying for his masters in education this past year, so she hasn’t had much time to join her girlfriends as she had a one-year-old and three year old to care for, plus work and home. I thought it was time for her to sit and enjoy the women she calls friends. Sit and enjoy they did..from ten that morning till about three that afternoon.

“Looking for ideas for my daughter’s celebration is how I came across your wonderful site.  Thank you for this site and celebrating women.”

We love sharing your Real Girlfriend stories! Do you have one to tell? Talk to us!