In honor of Mother’s Day, our May Girltalk topic is  Moms & Daughters & More: Strengthening the Bonds, Breaking the Chain. To download this month’s PDF Discussion Guide, click here. For more information on Girltalk, click here.

A personal note from Christine Arylo, founder of Girltalk

Whether you are adopted, from a family of seven, an only child, whether your mother is like your sister or you never talk to your mother, whether your mother is alive or passed on… the truth is that we were all born, we all came from a mother, and we are all women. What’s not so black-and-white is how these relationships with our mothers and mom-like influences impact who we are today… consciously and subconsciously. And since they are some of the most influential relationships in our lives, I say let’s put on our wetsuits this month, dive into the water and do some exploring of what may be lurking underneath in our subconscious sea!

No matter how ‘close’ you are with your mother or daughters, all mother/daughter relationships are complicated, intertwined and full of many levels. It’s just part of the deal. Just as we might receive a set of good china, we are “handed down” behaviors, patterns and beliefs from our mothers that affect our lives on many levels. Some are strengths that help us have great lives, and create lives that are even better than the women who came before us. These are bonds to be strengthened, celebrated and appreciated.

But we also get unstylish and dysfunctional china sets… generation after generation of woman passing down liabilities, limitations and self-sabotaging habits and beliefs. These chains are the most harmful because 1. They keep us from our best life, 2. We pass them down to our children, usually without knowing it. And then they keep the patterns going, generation after generation, and 3. They are the hardest to break, because often times breaking these chains can feel like losing connection to our families.

But as women of the 21^st century, we owe it to ourselves, to future generations, and also to the women who have come before us to stand with strong hearts to break the chains that do not serve us… and to strengthen the bonds we have with the women in our lives – sisters, mothers, daughters, grandmothers. mom-like figures – both from our birth families and our “soul families”(the families we have created).

We’ll do this in true Girltalk fashion, asking you to open up conversation with the women in your life  – daughters, mothers, grandmothers, sisters, godmothers, aunts – and get to know them as women first, not as their role to you. They have fears, dreams, ideals, hurts, victories, just like you. Get to know who they are, and what you can learn from each other. Then you can decide what you want to strengthen and what you want to break. And in the process get to know yourself even better.

The Girltalk… Taking it Deeper May Adventure:

“Go Beyond the Role… Girltalk with Your Mom, Daughter & More”

Before you get together with your Girltalk… Taking it Deeper group, your challenge, should you choose to take it, and we really hope you do, is to be real and vulnerable with your mother, mom-like person, or daughter and ask her these questions about HER. Get to know her, as a woman or girl. Invite her to do the same with you.  Why? Because when you meet each other woman to woman, the complications and the expectations of the relationship move aside so you can see each other as the human women you are.  You will learn a lot about her, and you will learn even more about yourself…even if you think you know the answers.

If this challenge feels a little uncomfortable, great! It means that you are making positive shift in your life. If this doesn’t feel challenging, ask yourself why? And either change your perspective, find questions that do push your edge or choose a different woman. These adventures are about challenging yourself to move outside your comfort zone… because that is where transformation happens.

And, if needed, you may also make some alterations to this adventure. If a face-to-face, heart to heart talk isn’t feasible, then call, or even an email will pass. If you can’t do this with your mother, but you have a grandmother, sister, godmother, aunt, step mom, etc. that you can talk with, do that. The point is that you are reaching out to and connecting with an influential woman in your life and getting to know her better.

Starter Questions

1. What were your dreams as a little girl? As a woman?
2. What is your biggest regret? Success?
3. What was your first heartbreak? What has been one of your biggest lessons about love?
4. Was religion or spirituality a part of your upbringing? How did you feel about this?
5. What was your relationship with your mom? What do you wish had been different?
6. What women were big influences in your life? How did they influence you?

Go Bold Bonus Question

1. At what age did you first have sex, with whom, how did it make you feel? What was your ‘sex’ and ‘period’ talk like with your parents?

Go Deep Bonus Question

1. What do you wish was different about your relationship with me?

Alternate Questions For Mothers

• What would you change about how you raised me?
• Did you actually like being a mom and all the responsibility?
• Did you face any special challenges or pressures raising me?
• Did you have other significant relationships before my father, your current partner?  What were these relationships like and how did they help you/hurt your growth?
  

May Topic: “Moms & Daughters & More”

Be Real. There is a lot of Hallmark hype out there about what a mother/daughter/sister/ relationship should be… although most of us don’t have that Hallmark version. We have the human version. There is a lot of power in this human version, when you share the realities with other women.

• Describe your relationship with the women in your birth family.
• What are your expectations them? How do they meet them, how don’t they?
• What do you wish you could tell or ask your mother that you never have?
• Do you have women outside of your birth family that feel like your real family, and if so describe that relationship.
• What do wish your mom had told you about life, so you didn’t need to figure it out on your own?
• What is the most personal thing you’ve ever told your mom?
• How are you most like your mom? How are you least like her? How do you feel about both of those?
• What other women have been big influences in your life?

Be Wise. Time to change the china patterns! What wisdom is there for you to share about your relationships, patterns, beliefs with your female family? And how can you take that wisdom to create a better life for yourself and the women in your life today?

• What does it really mean to have a ‘close’ relationship to you? And what is a healthy relationship look like?
• How do you act out of obligation and guilt in your relationships to your mother, daughter, sisters, etc. vs. a place of love and choice? What keeps you acting from obligation. And what would it take to change that?
• What did you learn from the May Girtalk Adventure of having a conversation with your mother, daughter, mom-like figure?
• What female familial pattern have you broken and what was the impact?

Be You. Strengthening the bonds and breaking patterns is part of you discovering and being who you are. Make a conscious choice to do both this month.

• What one pattern or belief from your female birth family do you choose to give back and transform?
• What one pattern or belief do you choose to keep and strengthen?
• State both of these aloud, even write them down.

With big heart,
Christine Arylo, Chief Girltalker

We all know that we should take care of our bodies; in fact, we beat ourselves up for not doing enough of it, but what if we traded all that guilt and self-abuse in and proclaimed…“My Body is My Temple”? This month’s Girltalk…Taking it Deeper™ challenges you to treat your body to a month of self love. Join us, won’t you? To download this month’s PDF Discussion Guide, click here. For more information on Girltalk, click here.

A personal note from Christine Arylo, founder of Girltalk:

My relationship with my body has never been my strongest relationship. For me it’s not that I hate her, it’s that I forget about her. I can go months without looking at my toes, feeling my calf or noticing that I have this appendage called an arm. I take my body for granted, as if she is always going to be there to be the workhorse I have always expected her to be. As an achiever I have driven her past the brink of exhaustion on many occasions to ‘get the job done’ and the truth is that I have treated her more like a piece of machinery at my beck and call than as the temple that she deserves to be treated as.

The other truth is that without her, I would be nothing. I don’t exist on this planet without her. My spirit needs this form to be on this earth. None of the passions, missions, dreams I have can be accomplished without her. And although I like to think that I am in charge of her, the truth is that very quickly, if I don’t adore her the way a temple deserves to be adored, she will be in charge of me, and I won’t be able to do a darn thing about it.

Just think about any time you didn’t feel good physically — from a canker sore to a cold to a much more serious condition — you were at the mercy of your body, and the only way to change the situation was to treat her well.  Well, what if :

• We treated her well before she revolted and got sick?
• We treated her well, despite our judgments on what she ’should’ be?
• We treated our bodies like temples, and everyday that was the lens through which we made choices?

This month I dare us all to find the answers!

The Girltalk… taking it deeper April Adventure:  “My Body is My Temple”

Make the commitment to making your body your temple for the entire month of April by following these Body Temple guidelines. Start the practice now, before you meet as a group, and keep a journal about what you learn along the way. Then when you gather as a Girltalk… taking it deeper group, share what you’ve learned, using the Girltalk… taking it deeper conversation starters on page 3.

1. Every morning, before you get out of bed, close your eyes and talk to your body. Yes, have a conversation with her. Ask her “Body, oh temple of mine, what do you need today?” Okay, I know it may sound a bit hokey, but trust me, this kind of stuff works. Fake it till you make it. In other words, be willing to try it, feel uncomfortable and have a breakthrough. You’ve got nothing to lose.
2. Live with “My Body is My Temple” as a mantra and a lens to make decisions from. During each day and throughout this month, think about the choices you make from the standpoint of, “Is this treating my body as a temple?” Notice I didn’t say ‘jail cell’ where you get all controlling and start putting crazy diet rules on yourself. I said temple. Think about food, movement, sleep, affection, clothing, bathing, anything that affects you physically. Make ALL choices based on what does support your body as a temple.
3. Adore and adorn her. Temples are beautiful places that are cherished and beautified. This means nothing other than loving your body for the next month. No harsh words or judgments, just love. You start to judge? Stop and love instead. This also means bringing out her beauty. No sloppy sweats with stains or a shirt with a hole in the armpit. Think Aphrodite: What would she put on her temple? You don’t need a new wardrobe; just put on your body what a temple deserves–clean, pretty and loved items.
4. Try new. Whether it’s your food, your clothing, your body movement and exercise, whatever… introduce new practices into your daily life. Eat raw for a day. Wear a pink scarf to work, with rhinestones! Do smoothies for breakfast. Have fun by trying new stuff.
5. Share what you are learning. I’ll be documenting my journey on this blog and also on my Madly in Love with ME Facebook fan page. I know I will learn lots and you will too, and I’d love to hear what you are discovering. So go to our Madly in Love with ME Facebook Fan Page and share with the community what you are learning.

Last thing…Whatever you do, this self-love practice MUST be about self-love. This means no rule setting, deprivation, starvation, crazy diets or anything that makes you get stressed out, feel bad or be hungry or in pain. The challenge is to treat your body like a temple, while loving her and you every step of the way.

P.S. I am posting blogs all month long, so you can keep getting inspiration for your temple. The latest was My Temple Wants New Underwear.  

April: “My Body is My Temple” Discussion Guide

Be Real. Sure we’ve all heard each other moan and groan about looking fat, or feeling tired, or not having time to get to the gym, but let’s get deeper and more real about our relationship with our bodies:

• If you are treating your body as a temple today because of this Girltalk adventure, what were you treating it like before?
• How do you take your body for granted? Has she ever gone on strike? And if so tell us about what she did.
• What is your motivation for taking care of your body today – to get into a shape you believe you need to have? Lose weight? Stay healthy? What unhealthy motivations are driving you or keeping you from body temple status?
• What “a-ha” moments did you have from the My Body is My Temple daily practice? What surprised you?

Be Wise. Deep down, beyond the social conditioning and self-sabotaging thoughts, we all know what our bodies need… share your body’s wisdom:

• What habits, beliefs and patterns keep you from treating your body as a temple?
• Who do you know – fictional, celebrity, famous, or just an everyday woman – that does treat her body like a temple? What does she do? And what can we learn from her?
• If Aphrodite the Goddess of Love, Sensuality and Beauty, were to sit down for tea with you to tell you all the secrets of treating your body as a temple, what three secrets do you imagine she would share?

Be You. Take self-loving action vs self-sabotaging action with your body, and make her the temple she deserves to be!

• What does treating your body as a temple mean to you?
• What one action will you take to treat your body like a temple, starting now?
• What will you need to say YES to in order to keep that promise? What will you need to say NO to?

Have a great time Girltalking and treating your body like the temple she is!

With big heart,
Christine Arylo

Chief Girltalker

To learn more about Christine Arylo, creator of Girltalk… taking it deeper™, inspirational catalyst and self love expert, visit her at www.daretoliveyou.com, a virtual cornucopia of self-love inspiration created just for you. JOIN the international self-love movement, MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME & download her free Madly in Love with ME Guide, full of daring and practical tips on how to fall more in love with you everyday, at www.MadlyinLoveWithMe.com.

March is Women’s History Month! This month’s Girltalk…Taking it Deeper™ focuses on appreciating the journey of women throughout history. Christine Arylo, creator of Girltalk, felt so strongly about this issue that she changed the previously scheduled topic. Read on for her thoughts. To download this month’s printable guide, click here. For more information on Girltalk, click here.

A personal note from Christine Arylo, founder of Girltalk.

In honor of Women’s History Month, I have to out myself.  As an MBA from one of the best schools in the country, I have been ignorant to the truth of our history as women. Sure, I know the facts… but that is not the same as knowing, or feeling, the reality. What I learned in history class didn’t come close to telling me the truth of what women have endured just in the last century, let alone the last three hundred, or two thousand years. I got the same scrubbed-down version of history that you did — unless you were a feminine studies major — straight from the lips of a patriarchal society.  Oh, women couldn’t vote, so there was this suffrage movement and now they can. Oh, there was this thing called Roe vs Wade that made abortion legal. Oh, women were burned at the stake during this thing called the Inquisition. And yes, there was this other thing called the Feminist Movement that created equal rights. None of those were more than a few pages in any of my history books, how about yours?

And my female relatives growing up didn’t make me any wiser about the reality either. They came from the school of “that’s just how things were,” not the “you need to know these historical realities as a woman because we never want to forget where we come from, and what has been given by the women before us.” They didn’t make it part of their job as women to pass down the stories of women from generation to generation… and that is a big loss. One that I know after this weekend, I will not repeat.

On the last weekend in February — at the age of 39 — I finally got WISE! Sitting with 500 women in a hotel ballroom in LA at the Sister Giant conference, I tapped into and felt in my cells our lineage as women and I felt my heart ache, my eyes well up with tears, and my courage lift as I watched three movies that put me in awe at the bravery of what generations of women before me have faced.

I say ‘tapped into’ because as I sat there in that room, it wasn’t just the 500 women that were there, it was also the 500 generations of women sitting with us. While I couldn’t see them with my eyes, I felt them with every fiber of my being. I say ‘felt in my cells’ because I experienced the facts that used to sit in my head about women’s rights, witch burnings, transform themselves from ideas to human realities. When you see a woman being force-fed with the use of a tube up her nose and a metal device being shoved in her mouth to part her lips and make her eat, suddenly the facts become about a person, they become very human, and your heart receives a message it’s not likely to forget — nor should it.

I let myself be affected by these films — something that I am not sure we always do. Our hearts are so closed off in our society, going about our busy lives. This month, in honor of our sisterhood and common bonds as women, I am inspired to ask you and your Girltalk… taking it deeper™ circles to take a pause and watch one of these films TOGETHER… to talk together about the impact of the film using our Girltalk conversation technology. We are visual beings… and I imagine the world would be much different if we sat and watched movies like this together vs. chatted mindlessly about the problems of the Housewives of Orange County.

Pick one of these three movies… watch it together (that’s important!) and then Girltalk.

Iron Jawed Angels

You can vote, you know that. But did you know that women were arrested, beaten, forced fed with tubes up their noses and tortured with the use of iron jaws to open their mouths and force them to eat when they called a hunger strike? Hilary Swank and Angelica Houston rock in this movie that made me cry, cringe and shout with joy.

The Burning Times
It’s estimated between 1million and 9 million people were burned, tortured and killed during the Inquisition — 85% of them women — in an effort to stamp out the goddess and pagan traditions and replace them with the controlling patriarchal structures. You can watch this 20 minute movie on You Tube.

Pray the Devil Back to Hell

You might have heard the prophecy that it will be women that change the world. You’ve most likely heard that the fierceness of a mother protecting her child is like no other. These women of Liberia prove them both. They stopped a war torn country from fighting because they said “ENOUGH! No more war. We want peace.” If women with ‘no money’ can stop a country from killing each other, what the heck are we capable of?”

March: What History Left Out of Herstory

Be Real. So you knew the facts before, but what’s different about what you know and feel now?

• What surprised you?
• What outraged you?
• What inspired you?
• What is the story you were told and what now do you see as the real story?

Be Wise. There is a pile of gold just waiting to be scooped up when you dig into the depths of wisdom that exist in and between generations. Mine that wisdom.

• What did you learn from these women?
• How do you imagine they felt?
• What timeless wisdom did they have that our generation could benefit from?
• What or who did you personally resonate with? Why?

Be You. We must always remember the women who came before us … including sharing their stories and our stories with our daughters (biological or not). We are all mothers.

• What one action will you take to share what you have learned today with another woman or another girl?
• What stories about your own herstory, about this time on this planet, will you share with the daughters of our generation?

Have a great time Girltalking and using the power of the generations before us to inspire us as we face the challenges of the 21^st century.

With big heart,

Christine Arylo

Chief Girltalker

To learn more about Christine Arylo, creator of Girltalk… taking it deeper™, inspirational catalyst and self love expert, visit her at www.daretoliveyou.com, a virtual cornucopia of self-love inspiration created just for you. JOIN the international self-love movement, MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME & download her free Madly in Love with ME Guide, full of daring and practical tips on how to fall more in love with you everyday, at www.MadlyinLoveWithMe.com.

Happy New Year, Girlfriends! It’s time to reflect on the year that’s been and claim the year to come. Instead of running into your year, stop, reflect, give some real and wise thought to 2010 and move forward with focus, intention and heart. Get your Girltalk…Taking it Deeper™ group together and use this January discussion guide by Christine Arylo to take your year in the best possible direction. To download a printable PDF of this month’s discussion guide, click here. To learn more about starting your own Girltalk group (it’s totally free and you’ll receive the discussion guide each month), click here.

©Shiloh McCloud

Be Real. Every year, it’s the same old drill, isn’t it? We start off with the best intentions, with gusto, resolved to reach our goals and make this ‘the’ year. But by February that gusto has been drained down by the overwhelm, pressure and realities of day-to-day life. Come October, we’re wondering where the year went, and not feeling quite as successful as we had hoped we would when the year started. And then without warning, it’s Thanksgiving, then December and a flurry of presents and parties. Before we know it, January 1 has arrived, and with it the immense pressure to make this ‘the’ year.

If you are a Type A person, you likely go into New-Year’s-resolution and goal-setting mode. If you are the Type B variety, you’re likely more relaxed and avoid serious goal-setting, stepping into the new year with faith that it will all work out. The truth is that neither of these strategies work. Type A or Type B, these approaches are insane. They keep you doing the same thing year after year expecting different results, which by definition is insanity.

Be Wise. This year, instead of running from the holidays into the New Year without really stopping to decide where you want to go before you take off full force to get there, dare to take a pause! Dare to avoid the three biggest mistakes people make when approaching their new year, and instead take the wiser path. Which ones have you fallen into? And what is the deeper wisdom?

Mistake #1: Not stopping to reflect on the year that has passed. Going from one year into the next, without stopping to recognize all that has happened, is like living your life like a mountain climber, arriving at the mountain top of each year, but not stopping to take in the view that you worked so hard to achieve. Instead, you just take a quick breath, and keep pushing up the next mountain, the next year, without celebrating my successes or learning from your failures. No wonder you are exhausted. No surprise that you don’t feel like you really accomplished what you wanted; all you could see was the next mountain.

Wise Truth: In order to grow, we must stop, celebrate, reflect and learn at the end of every cycle.

Mistake #2:   Pressuring yourself to have your entire year mapped out by the first week of January. While one week at the beginning of the year may seem reasonable, this approach fails to realize that you are working against nature. December is meant to be a time of slowing down and going inward, not running around like a maniac visiting people and shopping for presents. People and presents good, mania not. One should start their year-end process way before January 1. And if you didn’t, it’s okay, you’ve got the whole month of January to catch up. January is called the ‘dreaming time.’ It is called that because everything is frozen and still. And so should we be. It’s a time to be in the nothingness to allow our year to show itself, to dream of what is possible, to expand into everything that your heart and soul really want. It’s also a time for making your dreams crystal clear so that by February you are ready to plant the seeds and watch them grown throughout the year. That is a lot to do! So our process of setting our intentions is a month long for a reason… to give us that long to dream our new year. Don’t try to stuff 30 days into a week!

Wise Truth. December is for reflecting. January is for dreaming and setting the intentions of what you will seed and grow in the coming year. Take all of that time, and your dreams unfold.

Mistake #3. Writing your goals with your head. Trained to think and live from our heads, trained to think dreams are fluffy, puffy events that happen when we sleep, too often we write goals through the lens of what drives our career, bank account and fitness level forward. We focus on the achievements we believe will bring us success. What we fail to realize is that our understanding of success is extremely limited and that the real goal of success is only one thing: happiness. And happiness doesn’t come from our heads, it starts in our hearts, which is the place from which we would all be better served to write our goals. Yes, our minds are extremely valuable, but they are only tools to making our dreams realities.

Wise Truth. Goals must start with the dreams we have for ourselves, which can only be found in our heart.

Be You.

Each of these mistakes can be boiled down to one thing: the failure to understand the power of PAUSE. Most women have been trained to hit the GO GO GO button all their life, and while that may make you a very good achiever, it also makes you a very busy and exhausted woman who doesn’t always spend her energy, time and money on what was is important, and what truly has the power to accelerate your progress to your dreams… or bring you happiness on a daily basis.

PAUSE is like a super power: When you activate it, PAUSE accelerates your ability to make your dreams realities because it provides you with something you can’t get when you are running through life as a frenzied, frazzled energizer bunny — PAUSE gives you wisdom.  Alice Walker, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Color Purple said in a commencement address in 2002 , “Wisdom, however, requires a pause… it is the pause that gives us clarity….”

This month at  Girltalk… taking it deeper™, I dare us all to give ourselves the gift of PAUSE by taking the entire month of January to reflect on the year that has been and to step forward into 2010 consciously, with intention and focus on what, where and how you want to spend your time, energy and money…to ultimately bring you the MOST happiness.

Step One: REFLECT on the Year that’s been & CLAIM a Mantra for the Year to Come

Take this adventure on your own, before getting together with your girlfriends. Your Mission: Gather all the wisdom from 2009 and state boldly what 2010 is all about for you.

There are many different processes one can go through to PAUSE, reflect on the year that has been and vision, dream and create the one to come. Over the past 7 years, I’ve developed a process that I’ve used to take my clients and groups of women to reflect, expand, and focus so they can energize a creative vision for their year

I call the experience the Feminine Super Power of PAUSE and I’m sharing the first part of it with you here, as your adventure to take for the month.

REFLECT… the how: Your goal is to reflect on your year by looking at your:

1. Surprises – what happened that you didn’t expect. Can be happy or not so happy.
2. Successes – what you are proud of, accomplishments, yahoos!, milestones, little and big….everything counts here. Gush away. Brag away. Tell the world, and yourself, how great you are. And make it more than a boring list. Really put the feeling of celebration into it.
3. Failures – disappointments, struggles, things that didn’t work out as planned. Some people have a problem with this word, but really failures give you the biggest learnings and there is tremendous freedom in admitting they happened. (p.s. this list should be shorter than your success list).
4. Learnings – what wisdom you have today that you didn’t last year. These are the gems you get to take with you into this new year and decade.

It’s important to reflect in exactly that order, 1-4. To get the most of this reflection process here are a few suggestions:

• Set aside 1-2 hours by yourself, without distractions to reflect. No kids, TVs, radios or cell phones. Just you and your year.
• Start by doing a visualization review of your year. Close your eyes and take yourself back to the beginning of 2009. See yourself standing in January 2009. Who were you? What were you doing? What was true about your life? Then move to February and ask yourself the same questions. Play the movie of your 2009 month by month, asking these same three questions, and seeing and remembering what happened.
• Get a journal or some blank pieces of paper. On the top of the page write the section name that you are reflecting on, for example, Surprises. Then “Free Flow Write” everything that comes to mind. Don’t stop or judge just write. And when you feel like you have nothing left to write, stop, pause, remember, and write some more.
• Go through all four sections. One by one. In the order laid out.
• Ask yourself at the end three questions: 1. “What do I want to leave behind?” 2.“What do I want to take with me? 3. “Who am I stepping forward into this new year as? Who do I want to be?”

Step TWO:  Throw a Girltalk… taking it deeper™ Event with Your Girlfriends

Use our super dooper fun conversation technology – Be Real. Be Wise. Be You. – guaranteed to get you closer to yourself and your girlfriends. To get the skinny on how to start a Girltalk group, and how to facilitate a fabu Girltalk gathering, download the Girtalk… taking it deeper™ Getting Started Guide here.

GET CONNECTED (opening):  SHOW & TELL

Your goal here is to have each woman ‘check in’ on her personal experiment as a way to get the group connected. It’s a great primer for great girltalk!

• Each woman says her name and then answers this question: “What I learned most about myself in 2009 was…”
• Even if they didn’t do the experiment, they should be able to answer. If some women brought a visual of their experiment, let them know they can show it now or whenever they want throughout the night.
• Go around the room until everyone has spoken. This will get you all connected enough to the conversation topic that you’ll be ready to Get Real!

BE REAL.

The goal? Get the truth on the table. Say what needs to be said, but too often isn’t. Use these questions to get the conversation started, or to change gears as the girltalk grows. Use all of them, use some of them, whatever works to get the conversation real. Ask women to think about what they learned through their personal experiment as fodder for the conversation.

• What were your biggest successes and failures in 2009?
• What was easiest and hardest about doing this reflection process? What did you resist and what did jump into?
• If you gave 2009 a name, a mantra, like the “Year of XXX” what would you call it and why?
• 2009 was the year of the Ox (in Chinese astrology).  In what ways did this past year feel that way for you?
• What about New Years Resolutions? Why don’t they work?

BE WISE

Now it’s time to bring the wisdom forward so that you can start bringing forward thoughts and ideas that are going to help and inspire you to create the life you really want.

• Alice Walker says the wisdom is in the PAUSE. What did the pause give you? And how can we get more of it?
• What is different about you today than at the start of 2009? How are you wiser?
• What do you wish you knew at the beginning of this year that you figured out by the end?
• What did you learn most about yourself by reflecting on your year?

BE YOU. The DARE.

Now it’s time to take action, to do something out of your comfort zone that has the potential to make real shift in your life. And like a dare, it has to push your edges.

• Claim Your Year. If you gave 2010 a power mantra, “The Year of XXXX” what is it going to be?

To get more information on the Feminine Super Power of PAUSE, including a free audio of Christine teaching REFLECT, visit: http://www.daretoliveyou.com/superpowerofpause

Have a great time Girltalking and inspiring each other to have your best year yet!

With big heart,

christine_chair_cropped

Christine Arylo

Chief Girltalker

Coming in February: Self-LOVE, baby! In a month that is all about love, we’ll be getting real and wise about the fact that you have to love YOU before you can love anyone else.

To learn more about Christine Arylo, creator of Girltalk… taking it deeper™, inspirational catalyst and self love expert, visit her at www.daretoliveyou.com, a virtual cornucopia of self-love inspiration created just for you. JOIN the international self-love movement, MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME & download her free Madly in Love with ME Guide, full of daring and practical tips on how to fall more in love with you everyday, at www.MadlyinLoveWithMe.com.

Well, girlfriends, about a month ago we introduced Girltalk…Taking it Deeper™ to you, and launched the first monthly topic in October. We promised that we would experience Girltalk right along with you, so this week we had our very own Girltalk gathering. Here’s how our girls night went:

Small Group

We invited about 10 women to our inaurgural Girltalk gathering and only four were able to make it. Truthfully, when sending out the invitations, we purposely kept the invite list small because we were more comfortable “test driving” with a small group. We also knew that it wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea. So in the end, the girlfriends who came out for this amazing gathering turned out to be women we already knew really well. We’ve been friends with them for three to five years.

Bubbles!

Since the topic was “Fun,” we thought bubbles were in order, and the bubbly was much appreciated by our girlfriends! We also had a few fabulous snacks available. Trader Joes always comes through for a busy hostess! After everyone had a chance to partake in the refreshments, we decamped to a circle in front of the fireplace to begin our Girltalk.

Common Threads

Using the Guide to Great Girltalking and this month’s topic guide, Dawn facilitated the conversation. Each women checked in saying why she had come. Then, we talked about the “homework” we had prepared. Since this month’s topic was “fun,” the assignment was to think about what had been fun for us at different stages of our lives. Then, we explored what fun means for us today and why. As we talked, we definitely found some common threads weaving through the conversation. For most of us, obligations were a perceived obstacle to having fun. (Hmmm.) Then, we talked about a “dare” for each of us to do for next time. These were personal challenges to help us have more fun in our lives. It will be interesting to see who actually does follow through on their dares…

New Discoveries

So, was this a worthwhile activity for close girlfriends? YES. Isn’t a meaningful conversation always worth having? Sometimes we have to be prompted to get out of “small talk” and talk about what really matters. Even though the girlfriends in attendance knew each other quite well, it’s amazing how many things we don’t know about our friends. We all agreed that although we often do have great conversations on our own, we probably wouldn’t have had this one—and this one was worth having. Also, it felt great to make a date with each other and honor our friendships with serious (but fun!) conversation.

Some of us said we wouldn’t have been comfortable doing Girltalk in a larger group; but others felt it would be a perfect way for acquaintances to get to know each other better (though perhaps the conversation would take a lighter tone).

In conclusion, we decided to do it again next month with a slightly larger group. We plan to grow our Girltalk group slowly and organically. We can’t wait to see next month’s topic. And by the way, thanks to our loyal, supportive, wonderful girlfriends who came out. We’re so glad you did and we truly love you!

Girlfriends: Did you try Girltalk with your own girlfriends? We’d really love to hear your feedback.If you haven’t, we challenge you to try it, just once. It just might revolutionize Girls Night! If you want to know more about what Girltalk is all about, click HERE. And, stay tuned for next month’s topic! If you’d like an email reminder when the new Girltalk…Taking it Deeper topic is posted each month, subscribe HERE.

Hey, Girlfriends! On this National Women’s Friendship Day, we have something very exciting to share with you!

GirlfriendCelebrations is partnering with Christine Arylo, author of Choosing ME Before WE: Every Woman’s Guide to Life and Love, to bring you GirlTalk…Taking it Deeper™ - a monthly series you can use to connect with your girlfriends on a deeper level.