Let’s be clear: We think you’re perfect just the way you are, girlfriends. But if a TV network wanted to give you and all your girlfriends a makeover, that might be of interest to you, right? So we thought we’d better let you know that a new show on the Oprah Winfrey Network, Best Life Now, is looking for a group of girlfriends that deserves a makeover! Are you constantly putting your kids, husband, pet and house before yourself? Do you look 10 years older than you feel? Is your style stuck in a rut, or your makeup stuck in another era? Are you looking for a vibrant new you for the New Year? The production company for this show is searching for a group of women friends who are “in dire need” of  makeovers! If this description fits your group of girlfriends, or someone that you know, they want to hear your story and see some recent photos. Include information on how long you have been friends, why you need the makeover, your ages, marital status, kids, and anything else important to your story. Contact Michelle as soon as possible at michelleb.bestlifenow@gmail.com or call 310-943-4621. Psst… they are also looking for the “next domestic guru” – if you fit the bill or know someone who does, contact Michelle at the email or phone number above. Good luck, girlfriends!

The other day, we received a reader comment that really made us pause. A reader who identified herself as Jasemine said:

“Ever since I was ditched by two friends nearly 3 years ago, I have sworn I would never have female friendships again. Their actions hurt me deeply and I have never got over it. So for me the sisterhood and all things supposedly connected to women’s friendships are a farce to me.”

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Hurt by the betrayal of a friend or supposed friend. It’s easy to become bitter when you’ve been “ditched.” But we don’t believe swearing off female friendship is the answer. That’s why we wanted to reach out to Jasemine and let her know that the “sisterhood” is indeed real, and available to all. We hope you can help!

First of all, let’s acknowledge that it’s not a pink and perfect world out there in girlfriendland. Friendships do end, for a variety of reasons. Lives evolve, circumstances change, people move on. Sometimes girlfriends are just mean and rotten. But losing a friend (or two) does not make you “unfriendable.” Actually, the opposite is true: A friendship breakup is a great learning experience. It can show you what you don’t want in a friend, or what you can do differently next time you find a potential pal. More often than not, the problem may be about them, not about you.

“If you’re feeling angry at a girlfriend who did something that hurt you or made you lose trust, it’s important to try to figure out what happened. Did you make a poor choice? Did you become too close too soon? Did YOU do anything to provoke the breakup?” says “friendship doctor” Dr. Irene S. Levine, author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend. “Sometimes, however, the reason for the breakup is impossible to decipher. Jasemine’s friend may have had something else, entirely unrelated to the friendship, going on in her life that was simply too painful to share. If you don’t know what happened to a friendship, it’s often because there’s a missing piece of information. Try to forgive and let go of the lost friendship or else you’ll lose out in the end.”

Readers can find advice on how to make new friends in several places on this site, from the Girlfriends-in-Chief as well as some fabulous guest bloggers. But that’s not necessarily what Jasemine needs right now. Girlfriends, would you share your experiences? What does female friendship mean to you? Is “the sisterhood” a farce? Have you ever been “ditched” by a girlfriend? How did you recover? What advice do you have for Jasemine? Here’s hoping she reads your responses and gives female friendship another try.

Update! Jasemine sent us this reply:

“Thank you for taking up my comment. But the pain of being ditched still ricohets today. I was dumped by these two so called friends out of the blue. One ditched me because I feel because I was single, childless and not married. The other one just suggested we take a break from each other. I contacted the other friend to arrange a meeting up, but unfortunately I had a serious situation at work, but this person did not understand that and I tried to explain, but they just said they had made plans and the phone was put down on me. I wrote a letter trying to explain that I was sorry if she felt I let her down but to no avail. Towards the end of the year when it happened it was her way of ending the friendship. It dawned on me that I was being ditched. First shock, denial disbelief then despair, now just bitterness. So I dont like other women. Its just big one big bitchfest with women. I have had with it with female friendships. Its nice if the sisterhood works for you but for me it hasnt worked out at all. Its all just one big farce I choose to stay away from. So much for sex in the city and friends and all that, but for some of us friendship just doesnt work.”

As the Month of Friendship continues, today’s post reminds us of our Party for the Girls weekend in February: how restorative that time was, how easy and relaxing it was to be among girlfriends, and how we can’t wait to do it again! Girlfriend time is truly a stress-buster, as our guest blogger Debba Haupert explains.

By Debba Haupert

“I didn’t know how much I needed it until I got home,” shared my friend Colleen last week on our Saturday morning walk.

As our Month of Friendship posts continue, we’d love to remind you to plan those girls nights! We hope you’ll enjoy our contribution to this week’s celebration, below.

By Dawn Bertuca and Tina Bishop

If you’re reading this on one of the Friendship Circle blogs, then having and keeping girlfriends must be important to you. Perhaps you identified the need for new girlfriends in your life, for whatever reason, and now you’re ready to grow some new friendships. Or, you’re already blessed with good girlfriends but you’re looking for ways to renew and reinforce those female friendships. We’re here to help! In nearly five years of writing about the things girlfriends do together, we’ve learned loads about what does and doesn’t work when girlfriends get together.

On one hand, planning a successful girlfriend get-together is simple if you remember that the number-one thing that girlfriends like to do together is…you guessed it…TALK. Women crave connection. We need time to catch up on each other’s lives. We even have a physiological need to huddle together and talk, according to that now-famous UCLA study. On the other hand, it’s easy to get into a bit of a rut when it comes to girlfriend time. “Bunco” and book clubs are great excuses to get together and gab with the girls, but they sometimes turn stale. Girlfriends stop showing up, and eventually the group —and the relationships—fizzle out. So, what are the keys to making sure your girlfriend time stays fresh?

1. Understand quality time. Sandy Sheehy, author of Connecting: The Enduring Power of Women’s Friendships, says girlfriend relationships naturally strengthen if the women spend enough time together, are honest with each other, support each other equally, and each one feels she is getting something from the relationship. Does your usual girls night fit the bill? If your idea of a girls night is balancing a wine glass and a catalog in your lap while a sales representative tries to sell you candles, makeup, jewelry or kitchenware, then you might be missing the point of “quality time.” You need opportunities to truly connect with your girlfriends without the distraction of a sales pitch.

2. Make friendship a priority. If having girlfriends is important to you, make some time for it in your busy schedule. Commit to making two phone calls a week, or extending one invitation a week, or whatever you need to get the results you want. Be consistent and don’t give up. “Put it on the calendar” is our constant refrain when giving advice to women who say they don’t have enough time with their girlfriends. We’ve found that gathering monthly is about the right frequency for most girlfriend groups. Why not designate the third Thursday of the month, for example, as your “official” girlfriend time?

3. Be specific. Instead of simply suggesting to a friend that you want to get together, take the initiative and make a plan. Invite your girlfriend to a specific time and place so she has to respond. Women who are busy and stressed find it much easier to say yes to “spa party at my place, Thursday night at 7″ than “we really should get together sometime.” You can get some simple girlfriend party ideas at GirlfriendCelebrations.com, or just invite the girls to a favorite restaurant on a specific date.

4. Build in meaning. Learning more about each other is vital to strengthening your friendships. So take your girls nights beyond eating, drinking and gossiping. Experiencing something new together (like learning to bellydance, running a 5K, or volunteering at a homeless shelter) is a classic bonding technique. Or, add a brief connecting activity that helps you understand your gal pals better. It doesn’t have to be lengthy, embarrassing, or corny. We purposely include fun and easy connecting activities in nearly ALL of our girls night party plans. It takes a tiny bit of effort, but pays off in stronger friendships—and that’s definitely worth it.

5. Review the evening. After each girls night, take a few minutes to evaluate. You may want to do this on your own, or together via email. How did the girls night go? Did it meet your expectations? Did you get what you wanted out of the evening? What would have improved the experience? What could you do differently next time? Finally, don’t forget to revel in your achievement. You did it! You made your health and well-being a priority by putting your girls nights on the calendar. Happy Month of Friendship!

Dawn Williams Bertuca and Tina VanZant Bishop are Girlfriends-in-Chief at GirlfriendCelebrations.

The Friendship Circle (a network of five organizations committed to celebrating the power of female friendships) is partnering in September for a Month of Friendship. Visit these Friendship Circle websites daily in September for more inspiration and information:

• The Friendship Blog – by psychologist, professor of psychiatry, and author, Dr. Irene S. Levine (The Friendship Doctor), author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving A Breakup with Your Best Friend. Follow Irene on Twitter.
• GirlfriendCelebrations – premier source of girls night ideas on the web. Founded by friends Dawn Williams Bertuca and Tina VanZant Bishop. Girlfriend Celebrations on Facebook and Twitter
• GirlFriendCircles.com - only online community that matches new friends offline by connecting circles of women in local areas, by Shasta Nelson. OnFacebook and Twitter.
• Girlfriendology.com - online community for women based on inspiration, appreciation and celebration of female friendship. Created by Debba Haupert. On Facebook and Twitter.
• MWF Seeking BFF - chronicles the author’s search for a new best friend after moving to a new city for love, by Rachel Bertsche. Follow Rachel on Twitter.

When it comes to making a new friend, who should make the first move? According to today’s guest blogger, Rachel Bertsche of MWF Seeking BFF, YOU should. As the Month of Friendship continues, Rachel reveals how taking a risk paid off in her search for a new BFF.

By Rachel Bertsche

Today is my turn to blog for The Month of Friendship. For those of you who are new to my search, let me give you the Twitter-ized version: After two years of waiting for a local BFF to emerge in my new hometown of Chicago, I’ve decided to go out there and find her.

On Tuesday, I was reminded of exactly why I’ve been forcing myself to ask out potential friends, despite how desperate it can sometimes feel. I was at my favorite boutique, just a block away from my apartment, looking for a dress to wear to an upcoming rehearsal dinner. Well, that and I’ve been trying to befriend the manager since I moved here.

We’ve become friendly enough in the time that I’ve been frequenting her store. The weekend I went wedding dress shopping, I showed her a picture of my potential gown for an “objective” opinion. She’s told me about planning her sister’s bridal shower. She knows what clothes work best on my body and can perhaps get me a discount on said outfits. She’d most certainly fill my fashionable BFF opening.

For a while, before I threw caution to the wind and started asking every potential BFF to dinner, I was too embarrassed to invite her to hang out. What would I say? “Hello I have no friends! Will you take pity on me?” Uh, no thanks.

But now that I’ve been at this a while, I’ve gotten more comfortable in the art of the asking. Like anything, it gets exponentially easier with practice. And the breezier you are (Remember Monica on Richard’s answering machine? “I’m breezy!” I channel this often…) the less awkward the exchange. I promise!

So I went into the store in the middle of the day on Tuesday, and Manager and I were the only people there. After trying on a few dresses, I bought an adorable little black number.

“So do you work every Tuesday?” I asked her at the register.

“Yup.”

“I was wondering… I work from home on Mondays and Tuesdays, and it can get really quiet and isolating. Would you want to get lunch sometime? It’d be nice to get out of the house for a little.”

Manager was so excited. “I’d love to! I really would.” She went on to tell me that she always meets really great people at the store, but she feels like she has to wait for to other person to make the move. “Otherwise, you could be like ‘why’s the salesgirl asking me to lunch?’ It’s unprofessional.”

This had never occurred to me. She’s all 7-feet-tall and impossibly thin and pretty. The idea that maybe she wanted to be my friend too, that maybe something was holding her back never crossed my mind.

So we exchanged numbers and we’re going to have lunch. It could maybe even become a weekly-ish affair. I have a good feeling about this one.

The small-but-significant exchange was an important reminder of why, when we meet someone with BFF potential, we should just go for it. Everyone wants pals. We’re constantly worried that people will think we’re weird for making the first overture toward friendship, but more often than not the other person is flattered. Thrilled, even.

And there could be a million reasons why she hasn’t tried befriending you. Once Manager explained it to me, it made perfect sense that she’d have professional concerns about trying to befriend a customer. But I never would have thought of it on my own.

So this month, why not resolve to finally say something to the would-be friend you’ve been eyeing in yoga class/the grocery store/the office. What’s the worst that could happen? No, seriously, what?

Written by Rachel Bertsche, MWF Seeking BFF chronicles the author’s search for a new best friend after moving to a new city for love. In her engaging daily posts, Bertsche reveals anecdotes from her quest, shares resources for meeting new people, and wonders about modern-day friendship conundrums. MWF Seeking BFF the book will be published by Ballantine in early 2012.

The Friendship Circle (a network of five organizations committed to celebrating the power of female friendships) is partnering in September for a Month of Friendship. Visit these Friendship Circle websites daily in September for more inspiration and information:

• The Friendship Blog – by psychologist, professor of psychiatry, and author, Dr. Irene S. Levine (The Friendship Doctor), author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving A Breakup with Your Best Friend. Follow Irene on Twitter.
• GirlfriendCelebrations – premier source of girls night ideas on the web. Founded by friends Dawn Williams Bertuca and Tina VanZant Bishop. Girlfriend Celebrations on Facebook and Twitter
• GirlFriendCircles.com - only online community that matches new friends offline by connecting circles of women in local areas, by Shasta Nelson. On Facebook and Twitter.
• Girlfriendology.com - online community for women based on inspiration, appreciation and celebration of female friendship. Created by Debba Haupert. On Facebook and Twitter.
• MWF Seeking BFF - chronicles the author’s search for a new best friend after moving to a new city for love, by Rachel Bertsche. Follow Rachel on Twitter.

Girlfriend breakups are “the dirty little secret no one talks about,” according to our girlfriend Irene Levine, author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend. And she should know. Not only has she written a thoughtful and comforting book on the subject of female friendships, she also expertly answers reader questions about friendship on The Friendship Blog. We are so pleased to feature her post here as we continue our Month of Friendship Series. We believe Irene is truly unique as both an expert and advisor on friendship.

by Irene S. Levine, PhD

Despite the romanticized myth of BFF, the hard truth is that most friendships don’t last forever. In fact, research suggests that when it comes to friendships, there’s a phenomenon somewhat akin to the seven-year itch; half of our friendships change over that time period.

Just like other life-affirming relationships that we treasure—relationships with lovers, husbands, siblings, children, and pets—our closest friendships are imperfect. Friendships are fraught with disappointments and misunderstandings—resulting in some of the highest highs and the lowest lows of our emotional lives.

Remember Anne of Green Gables, the lonely orphan who never had a bosom buddy until she met her neighbor, Diana? Anne instantly realized she had found a soulmate in Diana. But as Anne grew up and her world expanded, the foundation of her once perfect friendship with Diana collapsed, paving the way for the next phase in her life. Given all the transitions that that take place in the lives of women (moving, mating, mothering and managing careers, just to name a few), it’s not surprising that friendships fray. Anne’s story is universal; as people grow and change, their paths diverge. Friends drift apart and even kindred spirits may find themselves circling in different orbits.

The sense of trust, intimacy, energy and connection we feel with a best friend is absolutely exhilarating, but when that friendship begins to erode or drift away, the sense of unease, discomfort, or loss is palpable. So what can you do to mend a broken friendship? Here are some tips for getting over the inevitable bumps:

1. Communicate

There’s a wall of silence between you. She isn’t answering your text messages or voicemails, and is ignoring your Facebook comments. You haven’t seen each other for a week and you used to talk every day. What do you do? Summon up the courage to start a dialogue. If there’s any hope of mending the friendship, you need to find out what’s wrong and resolve it. Sending an email or snail mail (note or card) to your friend, telling her you miss her and want to talk, gives her a chance to respond without being caught off-guard.

2. Apologize

If you know it was you who said or did something wrong—or who didn’t do or say something you should have, own up to the mistake. Apologize sooner rather than later because time has a way of making little problems fester. Of course, if you have a recurrent case of foot-in-the-mouth syndrome, this isn’t going to work.

3. Forgive

Conversely, if you were the one who was wronged and the friendship is important to you, consciously decide to forgive your friend in order to save the friendship. Try to think about what happened from her perspective and accept her apology. If her behavior is consistently ambivalent and unpredictable, forgiveness may not be the right fix.

4. Take a break

You’ve approached your friend to sort out the problem and you’ve been ignored or rebuffed. Perhaps your friend needs more time to get over her anger and disappointment. Propose that you NOT see each other for two weeks or a month. Maybe you need time apart (what I call a friendship sabbatical) to realize how much you mean to each other. On the other hand, you both may breathe a sigh of relief during the trial separation.

5. Downgrade

Maybe your expectations of each other are a mismatch at this time. Perhaps, you need to establish boundaries: Tell her you need more space for yourself and more time with others. Maybe your relationship is based primarily on shared history and your lives have grown too disparate to remain besties. Gradually downgrade to a casual, once-in-a-while friendship. Make the change with grace and respect, leaving the door open for reconnecting in a different way at a different time.

Admittedly, fixing a broken friendship is never easy or simple because the rules of friendships aren’t clear. Compounding the problem, women are often embarrassed or ashamed to talk about friendship problems. If they speak to men, they’re likely to be accused of catfighting. If they speak to other women, opening up about another friend may be seen as a betrayal. As a result, friendship problems often remain the dirty little secret that nobody talks about—except on TheFriendshipBlog.com.

Created by psychologist, author, and professor of psychiatry Dr. Irene S. Levine, TheFriendshipBlog.com is the only authoritative place on the internet for women to anonymously ask and receive advice about their friendship problems and dilemmas. Writing as The Friendship Doctor, Dr. Levine is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post and Psychology Today. Her most recent book, Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend is based on an online survey of more than 1500 women (anonymous, of course).

The Friendship Circle (a network of five organizations committed to celebrating the power of female friendships) is partnering in September for a Month of Friendship. Visit these Friendship Circle websites daily in September for more inspiration and information:

• The Friendship Blog – by psychologist, professor of psychiatry, and author, Dr. Irene S. Levine (The Friendship Doctor), author ofBest Friends Forever: Surviving A Breakup with Your Best Friend. Follow Irene on Twitter.
• GirlfriendCelebrations – premier source of girls night ideas on the web. Founded by friends Dawn Williams Bertuca and Tina VanZant Bishop. Girlfriend Celebrations on Facebook and Twitter
• GirlFriendCircles.com - only online community that matches new friends offline by connecting circles of women in local areas, by Shasta Nelson. On Facebook and Twitter.
• Girlfriendology.com - online community for women based on inspiration, appreciation and celebration of female friendship. Created by Debba Haupert. On Facebook and Twitter.
• MWF Seeking BFF - chronicles the author’s search for a new best friend after moving to a new city for love, by Rachel Bertsche.

Guess what, girlfriends? We’ve declared September the Month of Friendship! To celebrate, this week we’re proudly featuring posts by all the bloggers in the Friendship Circle. We think you’re going to enjoy meeting them, exploring their websites and reading what they have to say about female friendship. Look for our own contribution on Friday, but for now, check out this contribution by Debba Haupert, founder of Girlfriendology.

By Debba Haupert

Admit it. We love to celebrate holidays.

Some because we get the day off work (thank you Presidents Lincoln and Washington), some out of respect (Labor Day and Memorial Day), some based on relationships like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. We show our love on Valentine’s Day, our gratitude on Thanksgiving and our history on the 4th of July. We even go so far as to recognize our passions with National Ice Cream Month and Rubber Duckie Day, our fears – National Mold Awareness Month (yikes!) and pretend everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day.

We’ve got a holiday for just about everything – very event, passion, religion and quirk that we want to recognize, acknowledge, draw attention to and celebrate.

But what about celebrating the unique relationship that is known to make women healthier, happier, less stressed, live longer and even feel more beautiful? Doesn’t that warrant a special celebration? Doesn’t the combination of raised self esteem, being given the gift of laughter when you wanted to cry, having someone to call when you get bad news or just knowing you have a friend who won’t let you down deserve its own celebration?

WE think so.

WE are a group of women who are following our passion of inspiring women to connect, appreciate and celebrate female friendships. We are five writers and friendship experts who have partnered together to promote the benefits of female friendship, ideas on how to connect with and celebrate friends, insights into all aspects of friendship and general ‘girlfriend advice’ for women. We blog, speak, publish, tweet and inspire female friendship every way we can.

We are the “Friendship Circle”

We all believe that we should celebrate female friendship. So we’re partnering in September for a Month of Friendship to bring attention to the need that women have to prioritize their friendships, to provide inspiration on spending time with and celebrating those friendships, and to highlight the benefits in store for females who have strong bonds with their girlfriends.

Who are WE? We’re glad you asked!

The Friendship Blog – Produced by psychologist, professor of psychiatry, and author Dr. Irene S. Levine (The Friendship Doctor), The Friendship Blog is the only authoritative place for women on the internet to anonymously ask and receive advice about their friendship problems and dilemmas. The blog was created in 2007 and helped create the platform for Dr. Levine’s recent book, “Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend.” Find her on twitter @irenelevine.

GirlfriendCelebrations – The premier source of girls night ideas on the web. Founded by friends Dawn Williams Bertuca and Tina VanZant Bishop in 2005, the blog offers original ideas for girls night in, girls night out, girlfriend get-togethers and girlfriend getaways. Believing that “Girlfriends Make Life Better™,” these girlfriends take women beyond “bunco” and deliver fun and meaningful ways for female friends to stay connected. Find them on Facebook here and on Twitter @GirlfriendCeleb and @GirlsNightOut.

GirlFriendCircles.com – The only online community that matches new friends offline by connecting circles of women in local areas. In over 25 cities and growing fast, women between 21-65, are matched and introduced to each other in small groups at local cafes and wine bars to meet other women who value expanding their circle of face-to-face friends. Founder Shasta Nelson, a life coach, blogs weekly on women’s friendship issues. Find Shasta at http://www.facebook.com/GirlFriendCircles and on twitter @GirlfrndCircles

Girlfriendology.com – The online community for women based on inspiration, appreciation and celebration of female friendship. Girlfriendology offers inspiring blogs, BlogTalkRadio podcast interviews with amazing women, girlfriend gifts, online communities and more. Founded in 2006 by Debba Haupert, Girlfriendology has a large and growing social media community of 19k+ Twitter followers (& we block men!) and 7k+ female Facebook fans. Find Debba at http://www.facebook.com/Girlfriendology and on twitter @girlfriendology.

MWF Seeking BFF – written by Rachel Bertsche, MWF Seeking BFF chronicles the author’s search for a new best friend after moving to a new city for love. In her daily posts, Bertsche reveals anecdotes from her quest, shares resources for meeting new people, and wonders about modern-day friendship conundrums. MWF Seeking BFF the book will be published by Ballantine in early 2012. Find Rachel on twitter @rberch.

The Month of Friendship kicks off TODAY and will feature a cross-platform series of blog posts on each of the five participating websites. Each founder will each write a post in her particular area of expertise, with one post appearing on all five websites each day.

So girlfriend, you’re invited to join us on this fun, friend-filled month with the Friendship Circle. Follow these daily blogs, join our Facebook pages and get in the conversation about the incredible blessings and benefits of girlfriends. And, like girlfriends do, share these blogs with your girlfriends. Together we can influence women to support each other, reach out to women in need of a friend and to be the kind of girlfriend we’d love to have.

Celebrate the Month of Friendship with the Friendship Circle!

Debba Haupert  is founder of Girlfriendology.com, the online community of women based on inspiration, appreciation and celebration of female friendship.

Crossing the Chicago River

Completing the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer is a lot like childbirth: Painful but rewarding. Walking 39.3 miles in two days is, simply, hard. No matter how much you have trained, you can’t totally prepare for your feet repetitively pounding on pavement and Mother Nature dishing up some wet and windy surprises. Bones hurt, blisters pop, chafing appears in (ahem) private places, humidity induces unusual rashes. By the end of Day One, you’re not sure you really want to (or can) get up and walk on Day Two. And yet, the main takeaway from the weekend is a feeling of triumph. In fact, many find this feeling so addictive they choose to do the walk year after year (perhaps, in a phenomenon similar to that of childbirth, selective amnesia sets in).

I spent the Avon Walk weekend with eight other women brought together by our personal trainer, Tracy, a Walk veteran. Training for the walk was a classic example of our philosophy at GirlfriendCelebrations – doing something meaningful together builds friendships! Establishing a walking routine is a great girlfriend-bonding activity. During our training walks, my teammates Liz, Cathy, Robin and I had nothing to do but talk. We’re definitely closer as a result. And during the Walk weekend, I was privileged to get to know my other teammates Teresa, Bonnie, Linsday, and Sherry better as we walked and talked.

Even though our group sentiment was “never again,” after walking 26 miles (a marathon!) the first day of the event, my memory of it now is fond and framed in pink. I’m proud of our accomplishment. We did it, girls! What kept us going? The things that unite women during any bonding experience, whether it’s college rush, child rearing, or working in adjacent cubicles:

Common purpose – We were there for a reason, after all. Every single walker was mindful that we were there to end breast cancer. When we tired, all we needed to do was look around, or read the personalized shirt on the walker in front of us: “I’m walking for my mom. Miss you.” Surrounded by more than 3,000 girlfriends united by a common purpose (and yes, there were some brave men among them), we found it easier to keep walking.  More than 300 breast cancer survivors participated in the walk as well, and if they could do it, then we could, too.

Community support - In every neighborhood we walked, residents made signs, cheered, brought out their children, dressed up their dogs, and offered candy, water, and encouragement. “Great job, ladies! You can do it!” I can’t overstate how much this helped, especially when there were only a few painful miles to go.

Each other – Whenever I had doubts about my ability to finish the walk, I remembered my teammates and I knew, from training with them, that they would keep me going. I would not be going it alone. We would have each other, and that would be enough. Literally, just knowing that I was entering this event with a team made it easier to feel I would finish. Isn’t that the way in life? How many events, big and small, have your girlfriends carried you through?

Making it fun – At each city intersection, we were greeted by colorful crossing guards who decorated their motorcycles – and themselves -  as outlandishly as possible. I’ve never seen so many men in brassieres. Women piled on pink bracelets, beads, hats, feather boas, and costumes to celebrate the event. Punny team names dominated the day (my favorite team  – the Incredi-Boobs – was complete with superhero capes). What a great lesson in finding the humor in a great challenge.

Sheer perseverence. Putting one foot in front of the other. At the end of each day, that’s all we were doing – putting one foot in front of the other. Determined to finish, because we could, and others could not. Because blisters beat chemo any day. Because we wanted to feel a sense of accomplishment in doing what we promised to do. And, because we were together. We crossed the finish line arm in arm, some of us in tears, proud of ourselves and each other.

In Chicago, the 2010 Avon Walk for Breast Cancer raised more than $7.7 million to advance access to care and finding a cure for breast cancer. The Avon Walk Chicago, the fourth of nine Avon Walks this year, attracted more than 3,400 participants from 45 states, Washington, D.C., and Denmark, including 307 breast cancer survivors, who joined together to raise lifesaving funds and awareness for breast cancer. Carol Kurzig, president of the Avon Foundation for Women, announced during the Closing Ceremony a total of more than $2.35 million in grants to eight local organizations, ensuring the funds raised immediately benefit the community. More grants are slated to be awarded throughout the year to breast cancer programs nationwide. For more information, visit www.avonwalk.org

How do you live a long, healthy, happy, adventure-filled life? More to the point, how do you stay young when your years say you are old?  ”Learn your life-lessons along the way so they don’t need to keep being repeated, ” says Valerie Ramsey, author of Gracefully : Looking and Being Your Best at Any Age (2008, McGraw Hill). It was no surprise to us that “Get Girlfriends for Life” is one of those very important lessons, but we thought you’d enjoy hearing the rest of what Valerie, a mother, grandmother, executive and runway and print model, has to say. We truly enjoyed the positivity of her book, which reveals her secrets for how to nurture your health, stay positive, and look and feel your best, at any age. She encourages her readers to look forward to all the years that lay ahead, and gives particularly helpful advice on transitioning through life’s stages. It definitely is apropos for a Mother’s Day read – or a great gift for your mom! Valerie was kind enough to share her “Wisdom for the ages” with GirlfriendCelebrations. Read on to find out the best time to make girlfriends, according to her:

Women’s Life-Lessons from 30 to 70 with Author Valerie Ramsey

The 30’s: Underschedule Yourself: “The Thirties are the decade where you can do it all, look your best, excel at a career, marry the man of your dreams, have children, etc…and consequently, women in their 30s are usually exhausted trying to do it all. When activities are lined up endlessly, we must race through them like an athlete running the hurdles in a track-and-field competition. Jump, sprint, jump, sprint, jump..in contrast, having time and space-even the smallest amount, as long as it is allotted consciously-around activities invites us to savor, absorb, and actually experience them. Pauses allow your spirit to catch up with your body. While there are a few women who seem to thrive in overdrive, the majority of us run the risk of depleting our immune systems, draining our emotional reserves, and fraying our nerves if we run too fast too long. When my 6 children were all very young when I was in my thirties, I had two rituals that saved my sanity and were my downtime: During nap time, or when the children were in school, I would avoid the temptation to fold laundry or do any sort of housework and instead would just take a time out for me – take a nap, read a magazine, write in my journal, chat on the phone with a friend – whatever I felt like doing. It was my ‘mental health’ time! In the evenings after the children were in bed, I loved having knitting or needlepoint projects to work on.”

The 40’s: Get Girlfriends For Life: “By the time you reach 40, women we chose to hang around with in our twenties and even thirties have often fallen by the wayside through different life paths and/or outgrowing each other. The great news is that at age 40 you really know what you want in a female friend and what you don’t. During my 40’s, it was an ideal time to form these strong and lasting friendships. By then my children were older, the demands on my time were relaxing somewhat, and I had the time and the freedom to pursue my own friendships. Often, too, my husband and I would get together with other couples and their families and go off on weekends or vacations together. Whether you’re wrapped up in a career, or still raising a family, when you’re in your 40’s you realize and appreciate the value of girlfriends who will be with you for the rest of your life (and probably will outlive your mate too!). Do everything you can to enhance those bonds during this decade.”

The 50’s: Find and Own Your Voice. “I chose this life-lesson for the Fifties because it was the decade that I finally stopped doing for everyone else and listened to what I needed and then acted upon that. When I reached my 50’s, the children were grown and my husband and I had moved from the east coast out to California. I had always known that eventually I wanted to have a career doing something that would be exciting, challenging and fulfilling in a beautiful place where I would meet lots of interesting people. By looking back over my life and reflecting on what I had been attracted to and enjoyed, I had a good idea in general of what that might be. I started working at the famed Pebble Beach Resort in Carmel, California in the Golf Shop and I slowly but diligently worked my way up to be their Director of Public Relations!”

THE 60’s: Create A New Look: Going Grey Doesn’t Mean Acting Grey!!
“Let’s face it, the look you had going in your forties may have been stretched through your fifties but once you are sixty, you do really need a senior makeover for yourself-or you may come off looking like one of those women who just try too hard and can’t pull it off. Forever 21 may be a store but it’s not a prescription for looking your best! For years, I had had blonde streaks put in my light brown hair, but by the age of 60, the highlights didn’t last and this new silvery color started taking over. I decided to go with it, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The transition was quite easy, and now, funny as it seems, my hair has become a signature for me. People stop me all the time to comment on it – something that never happened when I was spending all that time and money to color it! I love the ease and convenience- not having to rely on a colorist to keep me looking well. The key to letting your hair go gray is good conditioning and styling so that your silver hair is always shiny and healthy looking. And to having the confidence to love yourself – silver hair and all.”

The 70’s: Expect the Best of What’s Next “On my 70th birthday I woke up not with a feeling of dread, but with one of tremendous excitement. I just knew that 70 wasn’t the end – that it was merely the start of a whole, quite fabulous new decade and that there were lots of unimagined adventures still lying ahead. Even when I suddenly became terribly ill and was knocked out of commission for about two months, that didn’t deter me or my enthusiasm for the coming decade at all. I am fully recovered now and thrilled by the path that lies ahead. A few months after I turned 70, my booker at Silver Models called to find out if by any chance I was in New York at the time, but unfortunately I wasn’t. I was still at home recovering from being ill for so long. Time Magazine had requested me for a cover shot and wanted to meet me the next day and shoot it the day after that! To say I hated to miss that opportunity is the understatement of all time.”

For more information on Valerie Ramsey, go to valerieramsey.com

With Mother’s Day less than a month away, it’s time to start thinking about a gift for the important moms in your life, a gift special enough for the women that have helped to make you who you are. Some of us are blessed to have a mom that is like a best girlfriend; nearly all of us have a mom, mother-in-law or mother figure to remember on Mother’s Day. Giving the right gift can be tricky: you’re navigating the fine line between what you can afford, what mom will like and what gift will make mom feel most appreciated. Who knew it would be so complicated? But don’t drop before you shop, girlfriend, because the Girlfriends-In-Chief have come up with a few gift ideas to inspire your Mother’s Day gift giving.

Here are 5 thoughtful gift ideas for special women in your life:

Charitable

Volunteer – Find a cause that mom is passionate about and volunteer together.

Present her with a wrapped or ribbon-tied photo album. In the front, place an invitation stating the day, time and place you have planned for the two of you to do your volunteering together. She can use the album for pictures to remember the special day you shared  helping out those less fortunate. Not only will you both be rewarded  with warm feelings of helping others, but volunteering can help you to grow as individuals as well as help to make your mother/daughter bond a little stronger. It’s a gift filled with warm fuzzies for all. Try searching www.volunteermatch.org to find volunteer opportunities near you.

Inspirational

Motivate – Encourage her to exercise! Give mom a gift certificate for your time as a weekly walking partner.

A key reason many people don’t work out is simply because they  lack motivation. It’s easier to work out if you have someone there  to motivate, get you going and hold you accountable to a workout  schedule. Why not be that motivation for mom to help her get in better shape and to help her feel better about herself?  Schedule a night or two each week ( just make sure you keep up your end of the bargain) to accompany mom on a healthy walk. Not only will you inspire some healthy habits, it will give you some quiet mom/daughter bonding time. Best of all, it’s free! A win/win gift for all.

Green

Plant a garden - Surprise her with a garden! Bring the supplies and your muscle power to plant the garden she always wanted but never had time or energy to create.

Planting a garden in the outdoors is a great option if you have the  yard space. However, If she lives in a townhouse or condo, you can still make an indoor garden together. A garden makes a great gift because it will keep her busy and give her something to look forward to. A gift bearing the fruit of your labor, what could be better than that?

Thinking of You

Keep in touch – Write a letter or send a card every other day for a month.
This is a gift that keeps on giving. Every other day she will receive  thoughtful little reminders that you are thinking of her. It’s not  necessary to send long letters; a small token sentence saying”You  are in my thoughts” is enough to bring a smile and warm her heart.  Stock up on blank cards, stationary and stamps ahead of time. Keep your eyes peeled daily as you browse through paper and magazine articles. Cutting out a magazine article she would like, jotted with a little note to say ” hope you enjoy” is enough to remind her she is in your thoughts. Here is a small list of things you can send without wasting a huge chunk of time: kids’ art, recipes, coupons, crossword puzzle, horoscope, write out a favorite memory of your childhood, 5 things you love about your mom, 5 reasons why you are lucky to have her as mom, etc. The daily reminders that you care and are thinking of her will bring joy to her heart and many smiles to her face. It’s a wonderful way to extend Mother’s Day from a single day to a month long affair.  Shouldn’t every day be Mother’s Day anyway?

Memories

Personalized gift – Give a personalized photo gift that will remind her of special memories.

Create a one-of-a-kind handbag for mom. Personalize it with some of her favorite photos. Why give a brag book when you can give a brag bag for all to see?   Photo handbag courtesy of www.yourwovenphotos.com and retails for $50.00

Honor mom with a token of your affection and a little something to cherish. This  personalized charm photo bracelet is sure to be a charmer and steal the heart of the mom you love. Beaded bracelet courtesy of www.collettecreations.com  and retails for  $48.oo

Giving the perfect Mother’s Day gift can be challenging to find but rewarding to share. We hope that our suggestions have sparked some ideas and inspiration. We’d love to hear your favorite Mother’s Day gift ideas. Happy Mother’s Day from the Girlfriends-In-Chief.