I have a degree in Communication Theory and recall learning that a healthy person knows how to communicate with different people. Healthy people speak differently with their parents than their friends or children. The same is true for friends. We discuss different things with our Soul Sisters than those important Original Class gals. The trick is listening and learning which is which and enjoying them all. While Chucker may be longing for a Soul Sister, the truth is when you are that close it can be hard to be light and free of what is vexing you.

Consider your feelings as you do your body. Exercise modesty until modesty is not required. Just as you wouldn’t strip naked out of the blue for the delivery boy (unless you are very naughty) don’t show your soul to a co-worker. But should you get to know that co-worker slowly over time and each step is interesting, meaningful and mutual than it will not be an emotional stripping but a respectful enjoyment of sharing great things with each other.

It’s hard when you are lonely but I once took a man vacation and took all the effort and money I put into boyfriends and put it into pampering and caring for myself. It was the ticket. Do for yourself what you do for others.

There was a movie where a lonely little girl told a story of how her mother told her to have the most fun by herself and others would want to join her. Soon she had lots of friends. My nephew (age 5) moved to a new town. He wanted to find new friends but no one was home. He told my sister (his mother) that he knew what to do and took his play guitar and started playing music in the front yard. My sister prepared for his disappointment and made cookies. She needed them because within 10 minutes there were 6 kids in her front yard.

Have faith. Enjoy your own company. Be receptive to others for who they are. The rest will come. Best of luck.

xine

Whether we like it or not, every one of our relationships starts with ME, so the only way to solve your problem is to start with you. And you’ll want to address it on a few levels

1. How you are showing up in your relationships. We teach people how to treat us. If you are always giving, and not getting, stop giving so much to people who can’t give back or won’t give back. Before you go that extra mile, make sure that you are going it for a friend who is worth it.

which leads to #2.

2. Pick people who want to have close relationships, not people who want to stay on the outer circles. It sounds like those rings are full for you. And know that the inner circles takes time to develop, so have some patience. The best thing you can do for yourself to start attracting other women who want closer connection (and there are alot of them out there) is:

a. Write your Friend Manifesta — two to three paragraphs that describe who the women are that you want to be friends with. Get specific. Talk about who she is, what she cares about… paint a vivid picture of her, and I promise you that you will start attracting those type of women in your life.

b. Ask yourself, what is it that I could be doing to avoid or push away intimate connection with other women. Often times when we arent getting the intimacy we want, it’s because we arent really able to give it or take it. See what it inside of you that could be causing a block.

c. Set clear expectations for each level of your friendship ring – and the expectations will be different for each. This will help you stop giving yourself away in relationships that are meant to stay more casual, and will help you create the space to attract the deeper friendships you want.

Finding and having great friendships is no different than finding and having great romantic relationships… so don’t despair, just get clear and claim what you want. You’ll be surprised how fast it shows up, without you having to work so hard to make it happen.

Let me know how it goes!
Christine Arylo
Inspirational Catalyst and Self-Love Expert
http://www.mebeforewe.com