Ever wondered if your actions alone could  make a difference in the fight against breast  cancer?  You—one single person in a world of 6  billion, helping to defeat a cancer that 1 out of  every 8 women is diagnosed with in her  lifetime. Sounds daunting at best. But with a few tricks up her sleeve and a dash of humor, Breast Cancer Warrior Brooke  Jones reminds us how simple it is for girlfriends everywhere to help in the defeat of breast cancer this Halloween season.

By Brooke Jones

Whether you go out ‘Trick or Treating’ or you stay home handing out ‘treats,’ this Halloween you can help make Breast Cancer HISTORY.

On Halloween, October 31, 2010 (which just happens to be the last day of Breast Cancer Awareness Month), in cities and suburbs; boulevards and businesses; condos and cubicles across America, Breast Cancer Warriors and their friends will go door-to-door, office-to-office and desk-to-desk using a new Halloween ‘mantra’: “Trick Or Treat To Help Defeat Breast Cancer“, and we’ll do it every Halloween until Breast Cancer is history.

All Halloween donations will be used by The Breast Cancer Warrior Foundation to remove the financial barriers that currently prevent thousands of Breast Cancer Warriors from participating in Breast Cancer Clinical Trials. The sooner all Breast Cancer Clinical Trials vacancies are consistently filled, the sooner the Breast Cancer CURE and PREVENTION will become available.

To guarantee that every donation made on Halloween ends up in the hands of The Breast Cancer Warrior Foundation, please make your donation with a check, not cash – not quarters; not dimes; not dollars – checks, made payable to: The Breast Cancer Warrior Foundation, in whatever amount you can afford. We know that these are difficult times, so we ask that you write a check for One Dollar; or Two Dollars; or Ten Dollars – or whatever amount you can afford. Write as many of those checks as your budget will allow. Place your checks next to your Halloween Candy Bowl and when Breast Cancer Warriors or their friends come to your door on Halloween give a check, knowing that your hard-earned money will end up in the hands of the Breast Cancer Warrior Foundation, and no one else.

We’ve created a special series of Breast Cancer Warrior ‘Trick or Treat To Help Defeat Breast Cancer’ shirts (T’shirts and sweatshirts). They fit men, women, children and even small four-legged family members. We’ve even designed Breast Cancer Warrior ‘Trick Or Treat To Help Defeat Breast Cancer’ Tote Bags, to help Trick or Treater’s collect donations. Get yours at our online store: The Breast Cancer Warrior Affirmation Outlet.

Wear your Breast Cancer Warrior ‘Trick or Treat To Help Defeat Breast Cancer’ shirt; knock on doors and say the powerful words: “Trick Or Treat To Help Defeat Breast Cancer”. The words are printed on the shirts and bags, so if you forget what to say, just look at what you’re wearing. (We Breast Cancer Warriors do occasionally forget things, don’t we?!)

Proceeds from the sale of Breast Cancer Warrior “Trick Or Treat To Help Defeat Breast Cancer” shirts and bags, as well as all Halloween donations, benefit The Breast Cancer Warrior Foundation.

Please join us this Halloween, in honor of Breast Cancer Warriors past and present, and help make Breast Cancer HISTORY.

Brooke Jones is a former stand-up comedian, Los Angeles radio personality and screenwriter. Now, in addition to fighting cancer, Brooke is the creator and editor-in-chief of BreastCancerWarrior.net — the internet’s unique breast cancer web Site, featuring crucial information, expert articles, links to the Internet’s most-respected breast cancer web sites, and …humor.

As the Month of Friendship continues, today’s post reminds us of our Party for the Girls weekend in February: how restorative that time was, how easy and relaxing it was to be among girlfriends, and how we can’t wait to do it again! Girlfriend time is truly a stress-buster, as our guest blogger Debba Haupert explains.

By Debba Haupert

“I didn’t know how much I needed it until I got home,” shared my friend Colleen last week on our Saturday morning walk.

When it comes to making a new friend, who should make the first move? According to today’s guest blogger, Rachel Bertsche of MWF Seeking BFF, YOU should. As the Month of Friendship continues, Rachel reveals how taking a risk paid off in her search for a new BFF.

By Rachel Bertsche

Today is my turn to blog for The Month of Friendship. For those of you who are new to my search, let me give you the Twitter-ized version: After two years of waiting for a local BFF to emerge in my new hometown of Chicago, I’ve decided to go out there and find her.

On Tuesday, I was reminded of exactly why I’ve been forcing myself to ask out potential friends, despite how desperate it can sometimes feel. I was at my favorite boutique, just a block away from my apartment, looking for a dress to wear to an upcoming rehearsal dinner. Well, that and I’ve been trying to befriend the manager since I moved here.

We’ve become friendly enough in the time that I’ve been frequenting her store. The weekend I went wedding dress shopping, I showed her a picture of my potential gown for an “objective” opinion. She’s told me about planning her sister’s bridal shower. She knows what clothes work best on my body and can perhaps get me a discount on said outfits. She’d most certainly fill my fashionable BFF opening.

For a while, before I threw caution to the wind and started asking every potential BFF to dinner, I was too embarrassed to invite her to hang out. What would I say? “Hello I have no friends! Will you take pity on me?” Uh, no thanks.

But now that I’ve been at this a while, I’ve gotten more comfortable in the art of the asking. Like anything, it gets exponentially easier with practice. And the breezier you are (Remember Monica on Richard’s answering machine? “I’m breezy!” I channel this often…) the less awkward the exchange. I promise!

So I went into the store in the middle of the day on Tuesday, and Manager and I were the only people there. After trying on a few dresses, I bought an adorable little black number.

“So do you work every Tuesday?” I asked her at the register.

“Yup.”

“I was wondering… I work from home on Mondays and Tuesdays, and it can get really quiet and isolating. Would you want to get lunch sometime? It’d be nice to get out of the house for a little.”

Manager was so excited. “I’d love to! I really would.” She went on to tell me that she always meets really great people at the store, but she feels like she has to wait for to other person to make the move. “Otherwise, you could be like ‘why’s the salesgirl asking me to lunch?’ It’s unprofessional.”

This had never occurred to me. She’s all 7-feet-tall and impossibly thin and pretty. The idea that maybe she wanted to be my friend too, that maybe something was holding her back never crossed my mind.

So we exchanged numbers and we’re going to have lunch. It could maybe even become a weekly-ish affair. I have a good feeling about this one.

The small-but-significant exchange was an important reminder of why, when we meet someone with BFF potential, we should just go for it. Everyone wants pals. We’re constantly worried that people will think we’re weird for making the first overture toward friendship, but more often than not the other person is flattered. Thrilled, even.

And there could be a million reasons why she hasn’t tried befriending you. Once Manager explained it to me, it made perfect sense that she’d have professional concerns about trying to befriend a customer. But I never would have thought of it on my own.

So this month, why not resolve to finally say something to the would-be friend you’ve been eyeing in yoga class/the grocery store/the office. What’s the worst that could happen? No, seriously, what?

Written by Rachel Bertsche, MWF Seeking BFF chronicles the author’s search for a new best friend after moving to a new city for love. In her engaging daily posts, Bertsche reveals anecdotes from her quest, shares resources for meeting new people, and wonders about modern-day friendship conundrums. MWF Seeking BFF the book will be published by Ballantine in early 2012.

The Friendship Circle (a network of five organizations committed to celebrating the power of female friendships) is partnering in September for a Month of Friendship. Visit these Friendship Circle websites daily in September for more inspiration and information:

• The Friendship Blog – by psychologist, professor of psychiatry, and author, Dr. Irene S. Levine (The Friendship Doctor), author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving A Breakup with Your Best Friend. Follow Irene on Twitter.
• GirlfriendCelebrations – premier source of girls night ideas on the web. Founded by friends Dawn Williams Bertuca and Tina VanZant Bishop. Girlfriend Celebrations on Facebook and Twitter
• GirlFriendCircles.com - only online community that matches new friends offline by connecting circles of women in local areas, by Shasta Nelson. On Facebook and Twitter.
• Girlfriendology.com - online community for women based on inspiration, appreciation and celebration of female friendship. Created by Debba Haupert. On Facebook and Twitter.
• MWF Seeking BFF - chronicles the author’s search for a new best friend after moving to a new city for love, by Rachel Bertsche. Follow Rachel on Twitter.

Girlfriend breakups are “the dirty little secret no one talks about,” according to our girlfriend Irene Levine, author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend. And she should know. Not only has she written a thoughtful and comforting book on the subject of female friendships, she also expertly answers reader questions about friendship on The Friendship Blog. We are so pleased to feature her post here as we continue our Month of Friendship Series. We believe Irene is truly unique as both an expert and advisor on friendship.

by Irene S. Levine, PhD

Despite the romanticized myth of BFF, the hard truth is that most friendships don’t last forever. In fact, research suggests that when it comes to friendships, there’s a phenomenon somewhat akin to the seven-year itch; half of our friendships change over that time period.

Just like other life-affirming relationships that we treasure—relationships with lovers, husbands, siblings, children, and pets—our closest friendships are imperfect. Friendships are fraught with disappointments and misunderstandings—resulting in some of the highest highs and the lowest lows of our emotional lives.

Remember Anne of Green Gables, the lonely orphan who never had a bosom buddy until she met her neighbor, Diana? Anne instantly realized she had found a soulmate in Diana. But as Anne grew up and her world expanded, the foundation of her once perfect friendship with Diana collapsed, paving the way for the next phase in her life. Given all the transitions that that take place in the lives of women (moving, mating, mothering and managing careers, just to name a few), it’s not surprising that friendships fray. Anne’s story is universal; as people grow and change, their paths diverge. Friends drift apart and even kindred spirits may find themselves circling in different orbits.

The sense of trust, intimacy, energy and connection we feel with a best friend is absolutely exhilarating, but when that friendship begins to erode or drift away, the sense of unease, discomfort, or loss is palpable. So what can you do to mend a broken friendship? Here are some tips for getting over the inevitable bumps:

1. Communicate

There’s a wall of silence between you. She isn’t answering your text messages or voicemails, and is ignoring your Facebook comments. You haven’t seen each other for a week and you used to talk every day. What do you do? Summon up the courage to start a dialogue. If there’s any hope of mending the friendship, you need to find out what’s wrong and resolve it. Sending an email or snail mail (note or card) to your friend, telling her you miss her and want to talk, gives her a chance to respond without being caught off-guard.

2. Apologize

If you know it was you who said or did something wrong—or who didn’t do or say something you should have, own up to the mistake. Apologize sooner rather than later because time has a way of making little problems fester. Of course, if you have a recurrent case of foot-in-the-mouth syndrome, this isn’t going to work.

3. Forgive

Conversely, if you were the one who was wronged and the friendship is important to you, consciously decide to forgive your friend in order to save the friendship. Try to think about what happened from her perspective and accept her apology. If her behavior is consistently ambivalent and unpredictable, forgiveness may not be the right fix.

4. Take a break

You’ve approached your friend to sort out the problem and you’ve been ignored or rebuffed. Perhaps your friend needs more time to get over her anger and disappointment. Propose that you NOT see each other for two weeks or a month. Maybe you need time apart (what I call a friendship sabbatical) to realize how much you mean to each other. On the other hand, you both may breathe a sigh of relief during the trial separation.

5. Downgrade

Maybe your expectations of each other are a mismatch at this time. Perhaps, you need to establish boundaries: Tell her you need more space for yourself and more time with others. Maybe your relationship is based primarily on shared history and your lives have grown too disparate to remain besties. Gradually downgrade to a casual, once-in-a-while friendship. Make the change with grace and respect, leaving the door open for reconnecting in a different way at a different time.

Admittedly, fixing a broken friendship is never easy or simple because the rules of friendships aren’t clear. Compounding the problem, women are often embarrassed or ashamed to talk about friendship problems. If they speak to men, they’re likely to be accused of catfighting. If they speak to other women, opening up about another friend may be seen as a betrayal. As a result, friendship problems often remain the dirty little secret that nobody talks about—except on TheFriendshipBlog.com.

Created by psychologist, author, and professor of psychiatry Dr. Irene S. Levine, TheFriendshipBlog.com is the only authoritative place on the internet for women to anonymously ask and receive advice about their friendship problems and dilemmas. Writing as The Friendship Doctor, Dr. Levine is a regular contributor to The Huffington Post and Psychology Today. Her most recent book, Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend is based on an online survey of more than 1500 women (anonymous, of course).

The Friendship Circle (a network of five organizations committed to celebrating the power of female friendships) is partnering in September for a Month of Friendship. Visit these Friendship Circle websites daily in September for more inspiration and information:

• The Friendship Blog – by psychologist, professor of psychiatry, and author, Dr. Irene S. Levine (The Friendship Doctor), author ofBest Friends Forever: Surviving A Breakup with Your Best Friend. Follow Irene on Twitter.
• GirlfriendCelebrations – premier source of girls night ideas on the web. Founded by friends Dawn Williams Bertuca and Tina VanZant Bishop. Girlfriend Celebrations on Facebook and Twitter
• GirlFriendCircles.com - only online community that matches new friends offline by connecting circles of women in local areas, by Shasta Nelson. On Facebook and Twitter.
• Girlfriendology.com - online community for women based on inspiration, appreciation and celebration of female friendship. Created by Debba Haupert. On Facebook and Twitter.
• MWF Seeking BFF - chronicles the author’s search for a new best friend after moving to a new city for love, by Rachel Bertsche.

Guess what, girlfriends? We’ve declared September the Month of Friendship! To celebrate, this week we’re proudly featuring posts by all the bloggers in the Friendship Circle. We think you’re going to enjoy meeting them, exploring their websites and reading what they have to say about female friendship. Look for our own contribution on Friday, but for now, check out this contribution by Debba Haupert, founder of Girlfriendology.

By Debba Haupert

Admit it. We love to celebrate holidays.

Some because we get the day off work (thank you Presidents Lincoln and Washington), some out of respect (Labor Day and Memorial Day), some based on relationships like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. We show our love on Valentine’s Day, our gratitude on Thanksgiving and our history on the 4th of July. We even go so far as to recognize our passions with National Ice Cream Month and Rubber Duckie Day, our fears – National Mold Awareness Month (yikes!) and pretend everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day.

We’ve got a holiday for just about everything – very event, passion, religion and quirk that we want to recognize, acknowledge, draw attention to and celebrate.

But what about celebrating the unique relationship that is known to make women healthier, happier, less stressed, live longer and even feel more beautiful? Doesn’t that warrant a special celebration? Doesn’t the combination of raised self esteem, being given the gift of laughter when you wanted to cry, having someone to call when you get bad news or just knowing you have a friend who won’t let you down deserve its own celebration?

WE think so.

WE are a group of women who are following our passion of inspiring women to connect, appreciate and celebrate female friendships. We are five writers and friendship experts who have partnered together to promote the benefits of female friendship, ideas on how to connect with and celebrate friends, insights into all aspects of friendship and general ‘girlfriend advice’ for women. We blog, speak, publish, tweet and inspire female friendship every way we can.

We are the “Friendship Circle”

We all believe that we should celebrate female friendship. So we’re partnering in September for a Month of Friendship to bring attention to the need that women have to prioritize their friendships, to provide inspiration on spending time with and celebrating those friendships, and to highlight the benefits in store for females who have strong bonds with their girlfriends.

Who are WE? We’re glad you asked!

The Friendship Blog – Produced by psychologist, professor of psychiatry, and author Dr. Irene S. Levine (The Friendship Doctor), The Friendship Blog is the only authoritative place for women on the internet to anonymously ask and receive advice about their friendship problems and dilemmas. The blog was created in 2007 and helped create the platform for Dr. Levine’s recent book, “Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend.” Find her on twitter @irenelevine.

GirlfriendCelebrations – The premier source of girls night ideas on the web. Founded by friends Dawn Williams Bertuca and Tina VanZant Bishop in 2005, the blog offers original ideas for girls night in, girls night out, girlfriend get-togethers and girlfriend getaways. Believing that “Girlfriends Make Life Better™,” these girlfriends take women beyond “bunco” and deliver fun and meaningful ways for female friends to stay connected. Find them on Facebook here and on Twitter @GirlfriendCeleb and @GirlsNightOut.

GirlFriendCircles.com – The only online community that matches new friends offline by connecting circles of women in local areas. In over 25 cities and growing fast, women between 21-65, are matched and introduced to each other in small groups at local cafes and wine bars to meet other women who value expanding their circle of face-to-face friends. Founder Shasta Nelson, a life coach, blogs weekly on women’s friendship issues. Find Shasta at http://www.facebook.com/GirlFriendCircles and on twitter @GirlfrndCircles

Girlfriendology.com – The online community for women based on inspiration, appreciation and celebration of female friendship. Girlfriendology offers inspiring blogs, BlogTalkRadio podcast interviews with amazing women, girlfriend gifts, online communities and more. Founded in 2006 by Debba Haupert, Girlfriendology has a large and growing social media community of 19k+ Twitter followers (& we block men!) and 7k+ female Facebook fans. Find Debba at http://www.facebook.com/Girlfriendology and on twitter @girlfriendology.

MWF Seeking BFF – written by Rachel Bertsche, MWF Seeking BFF chronicles the author’s search for a new best friend after moving to a new city for love. In her daily posts, Bertsche reveals anecdotes from her quest, shares resources for meeting new people, and wonders about modern-day friendship conundrums. MWF Seeking BFF the book will be published by Ballantine in early 2012. Find Rachel on twitter @rberch.

The Month of Friendship kicks off TODAY and will feature a cross-platform series of blog posts on each of the five participating websites. Each founder will each write a post in her particular area of expertise, with one post appearing on all five websites each day.

So girlfriend, you’re invited to join us on this fun, friend-filled month with the Friendship Circle. Follow these daily blogs, join our Facebook pages and get in the conversation about the incredible blessings and benefits of girlfriends. And, like girlfriends do, share these blogs with your girlfriends. Together we can influence women to support each other, reach out to women in need of a friend and to be the kind of girlfriend we’d love to have.

Celebrate the Month of Friendship with the Friendship Circle!

Debba Haupert  is founder of Girlfriendology.com, the online community of women based on inspiration, appreciation and celebration of female friendship.

Often on GirlfriendCelebrations, we bring you ideas for combining girls night and charity. So we were delighted when Kimberly Wilson offered to share her very own “recipe” for a Charitea Soiree. Kimberly is a teacher, writer, do-gooder, entrepreneur, and eco-fashion designer. She is the creative director and founder of Tranquil Space, named among the top 25 yoga studios in the world by Travel + Leisure, author of Hip Tranquil Chick: A Guide to Life On and Off the Yoga Mat and Tranquilista: Mastering the Art of Enlightened Work and Mindful Play, and holds a Masters in Womens Studies. When not bookstore browsing, she can be found sipping tea, crafting new designs for TranquiliT, or leading retreats. Her work has been featured on Martha Stewart Living Radio as well as in Daily Candy, Fit Yoga, U.S. News and various books. With a passion for do-gooding, Kimberly launched Tranquil Space Foundation to bring yoga, creativity, and leadership to women and girls and is currently pursuing a Masters in Social Work.

by Kimberly Wilson

One way to raise awareness (and funds or goods) for your favorite cause is by throwing a flair-filled fete. Who doesn’t love parties? In my first book I touched on this concept and even created a downloadable tool kit to assist readers in bringing this idea to reality. Many good things start small and gain momentum through grassroots efforts. Good old-fashioned tea parties combined with activism can be a powerful and fun tool for change. A ChariTea soiree helps build community and is a great networking experience. Invite five to fifteen people and ask each to bring like-minded friends: Perfect for getting your name out there as the do-gooding “hostess with the mostess.”

Here’s the skinny: Hosting the soiree in your home allows you to create the complete vibe. If that isn’t possible, look around for a cozy local café that has the same ambience you want to create. Following is the time line for pulling this off seamlessly and tranquilly.

Timeline

Four Weeks Before
-Determine charity to highlight, and request promotional materials.
-Send invites to your fave gal pals and encourage them to bring two to three friends.
-Invite a guest speaker from the charity.

One Week Before
-Send reminder and directions.
-Buy dry goods: drinks, treats, and candles, plus assorted teacups, saucers, and cloth cocktail napkins from your local thrift store.
-Purchase goodie bags and their contents: a box of organic fair trade tea, organic fair trade chocolate, scented tea lights, bath treats, promotional materials from charity, tissue paper.

One or Two Days Before
-Buy fresh food.
-Create a playlist to set the mood (suggested: Madeleine Peyroux or John Coltrane).
-Buy flowers.
-Put together goodie bags.

Day of Event
-Tidy your surroundings.
-Prepare food.
-Set mood: light candles, arrange flowers, play the perfect music for your vibe.
-Set up a treat and libation station.
-Indulge in a restorative yoga pose prior to guests’ arrival.
-Don your most fabulous and comfy ensemble.

At Soiree
-Be the hostess with the mostess: Greet and introduce guests warmly, keep drinks and laughter flowing.
-Introduce speaker from charity.

Day After Event
Send thank-you notes to guests, speakers, and helpers via snail mail.

Tea and Tasty Treats

Here’s my suggested menu:

-Cucumber-mint and goat cheese-watercress tea sandwiches
-Lemon cream scones
-Cookies (butter and/or ginger are lovely tea accents)
-Fresh fruit selection (assorted berries, green apples, pears)
-Tea selection

About tea brewing: An intoxicating brew of tea is essential. Begin with fresh, cold water, and heat it in a kettle on the stove. Prewarm the teapot by rinsing with hot water; a ceramic teapot provides the best heat and flavor. Measure one heaping teaspoon of loose-leaf tea per cup and add to the teapot. If using tea bags, count on one bag for each teacup. Remove the kettle from the heat when it has reached the just-boiling point, and pour immediately into the teapot. Cover the pot with a lid, and brew the tea for three to five minutes before pouring. The larger the tea leaves, the longer the brewing time. Remove the leaves or bags from the brewed tea to prevent bitterness. Serve with raw sugar, honey, or agave nectar. Serve a variety of fair trade and organic green, white, and herbal teas, from chamomile to jasmine to chai. The Republic of Tea, Tulsi Tea, and Gypsy Tea have a plethora of tasty organic options.
—
Kimberly lives in a petite pink palace in Washington, D.C. with two fancy felines named after French impressionists, a supportive beau, and a sassy black pug. Indulge in musings on tranquilology through her blog and podcast, Tranquility du Jour. Learn more at kimberlywilson.com. For more ideas on divine do-gooding and entertaining with style, pick up a copy of Kimberly Wilson’s book, Tranquilista.

]]> http://www.girlfriendcelebrations.com/celebration-ideas/throw-a-charitea-soiree-for-your-next-girls-night-in/feed/ 2 http://www.girlfriendcelebrations.com/friendship-building/how-to-make-new-friends/ http://www.girlfriendcelebrations.com/friendship-building/how-to-make-new-friends/#comments Thu, 01 Apr 2010 17:54:02 +0000 Tina http://www.girlfriendcelebrations.com/?p=1397

For many, making new friends can be a daunting project.  Let’s face it, putting yourself out there to risk feeling rejected is a shoe than many are not eager to fill. But studies show that finding girlfriends to laugh with and confide in will  not only make you feel better, but can be a life saver as well. Our girlfriend Jessica over at The Improbable Housewife has had to put on that shoe of

A lot of love in the room

By Jessica, The Improbable Housewife

Are You a Recluse? Girl, You Need to Get a Friend!

Are you one of those people who make friends easily? Do you thrive in social situations? Have you ever thought that the quiet individual hanging back on the side of the group must be stuck up or unfriendly? Why isn’t she participating in the conversation… after all, it is just the girls. Or, are you that girl?

Do You Have a Difficult Time Making Friends?

Be Confident
Have you ever thought of faking it until you make it? Simply put: Act more confident than you are until you become the confident person you want to be. It really can work.

Case in point: I was shy at heart, introverted to a fault, and was never one to start up conversations with strangers. It wasn’t a bad thing; it was just who I was.

Then I found myself trapped in a stressful situation and I needed a friend. My husband was on an overseas military remote assignment and I was left setting up a new home after a move across the country with a two-year-old and an infant. You heard me right, I needed a friend. This wasn’t optional; it simply had to happen for my sanity.

Where do you find new friends?

Look in your comfort zone

Have you ever moved to a new area where you had to start all over? Or, maybe you are just at a crossroads in your life and you need friends who share common interests? You don’t have to be afraid to take the leap to make new friendships. Take baby steps. Yes, you need to step outside your comfort zone, but it can be done in places where you are comfortable.

Parks

If you are a mom with young children, your neighborhood park is the perfect place to make friends. Moms are there with their kids and want to have adult conversations. I guarantee you won’t be the only one there open to a new friendship.

Work

Do you have a coworker you like to chat with? Make a date for a girl’s night out! You’re already friendly, so this is just taking an extra step.

Community

Are you new in the neighborhood? Strike up a conversation with your neighbor while you are out in the yard and ask if they know of a neighborhood Girls Night Out. Then GO!

Kids’ Activities

Do you talk to any of the moms at your child’s sporting events? Why not? You have something in common; you might as well be chummy while you’re watching… especially if there are a lot of practices involved.

Step Outside The Box

There are so many places where you can meet people, have conversations and make friends if you choose to step outside your box and expose yourself to the possibility of rejection. Yes, we are all afraid of it. Really, we shouldn’t be. You’ve heard it before… if at first you don’t succeed, try again.

What are ways that you step outside your comfort zone to establish friendships?

GirlfriendCelebrations would love to hear your tips for making new friends. Be a friend: Leave a comment or tip for the next girlfriend about how to try on that shoe of uncertainty, take a risk and make a new friend. After all, a girl can never have too many girlfriends, can she?

Loneliness may be the most dangerous epidemic women face, according to this guest post by Shasta Nelson, founder of GirlFriendCircles.com, a web-based service that matches its members with potential girlfriends offline, in real life. Lucky for us, she has some concrete ideas on how to beat loneliness and make new friends in this new year. Shasta also puts her money where her mouth is: She’s giving away a six-month GirlFriendCircles membership to one lucky GirlfriendCelebrations reader! In addition, she is offering YOU discounts on membership and other GirlFriendCircles events. See below for all the details.

By Shasta Nelson
While many of us have stood in line for the flu shot, bought abundant amounts of antibacterial hand soap and increased our daily intake of immune boosting vitamins, research published last month suggests there’s something besides Swine Flu and the common cold that we need to protect ourselves from  – loneliness. And it’s apparently equally, if not more, contagious as run-of-the-mill germs.

The Impact of Loneliness

With the holidays over and social calendars cleared, January becomes one of the loneliest months of the year. A study published in December’s Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that loneliness not only affects our personal health and well-being and the way we treat others, but it also increases the sense of loneliness in our friends, family and neighbors. It can spread from person to person, up to three degrees of separation.

Protect Yourself

Here are three ways to help build your relational immune system this New Year:
Get a Check-Up: Determine your current relational health by evaluating your circle of friends. What friends do you have and what friends are you still hoping to find? Do you have enough local friends? Do you have the women surrounding you that help you feel rooted and supported right where you are?
Is your circle broad enough to accommodate different areas of your life? What interests or types of friends would enhance your life? Are you someone who connects with everyone but needs to pull a few people closer to you in more meaningful ways? Or do you tend to only have a few in your life so that when one of them moves or life changes that you find yourself not knowing who else to call?

Identify Long-Term Health: Write out what it looks and feels like to have a close circle of friends in your life. This step is crucial, but often skipped. While we all know you can’t go to the gym once and all of a sudden reach your health goals, the same is true for our relationships. Hold that truth with a willingness to not give up after a few scheduled events or attempts to reach out. This is one of the most significant health goals of your life and it very well may take three to six months before you can create a sense of belonging and connectedness.

Schedule your Steps: Based upon the awareness from your check-up in step one, you should be able to identify action steps that will foster more meaningful friendships in your life. For example, if you already know plenty of people but need to transition a few of them into something more meaningful, there are two primary ways of deepening friendships: more consistency (most of us will need to connect with someone at least twice a month over three months before we feel close) or more topics of sharing, which means broadening the conversations beyond the area that we currently have in common whether it’s work, our kids or a specific project. What can you commit to trying? Or, if you need to meet new potential friends, be open to trying lots of things such as joining sites like GirlFriendCircles.com, participating in a local choir, inviting your neighbors over for drinks or attending more events where your current network can help introduce you to more people.

This January, drag yourself to the gym and try to eat better, but for all the New Year’s Resolutions you may set, few of them will impact your health, physically, emotionally and relationally, more than surrounding yourself with good friends.

Shasta Nelson is a relationship and transition life coach and CEO of GirlfriendCircles.com, an online community that matches women with offline friends.

Exclusive Discounts

GirlfriendCelebrations readers, use this special discount code: “GFCELEB” to save 20% on any of GirlFriendCircles.com upcoming events:

21 Days of Friendship Journey, starts this Sunday, Jan 10 (workbook and coaching calls— participants can be from anywhere) http://newyearjourney.eventbrite.com/

Portland Speed Friending, Tuesday, Jan 12 (http://portlandspeedfriending.eventbrite.com/)

Seattle Speed Friending, Wednesday, Jan 13 (http://seattlespeedfriending.eventbrite.com/)

Or, receive 20% off membership in GirlFriendCircles.com, the only online community to match new friends offline by connecting circles of women in local areas, to expand your circle of friends!

And Now For the Giveaway

GirlFriendCircles has generously offered to give one of our our readers a 6-month membership free! GirlFriend Circles matches members up with a small “Connecting Circle” of local women first, then after that initial meeting, you are free to use its resources to find other friends in your area as well. Please note the cities in which memberships are currently available: San Francisco and Bay Area, Portland, Seattle, Chicago and New York City. You must be able to use the membership in one of these cities to be eligible.

To enter:

1. Simply leave a comment on this post that says why you would like to try the GirlFriend Circles membership.

2. Tweet this contest for an extra entry.

3. Blog about it, linking back to this post, for an extra two entries.

Contest will remain open until 11:59 PM CST on Friday, January 22, 2010. Winner will be chosen at random from all eligible entries. Good luck, girlfriends!

Another girlfriend year is coming to a close, so we wanted to look back and remember some of our favorite post of 2009. We’ve had some great ones this year! In fact, narrowing the list down to 10 favorites was tough, but we selected 5 party ideas and 5 articles that we thought represented the best of GirlfriendCelebrations this year. Read on and see if you agree, and let us know in the comments. You can also VOTE for your favorite GirlfriendCelebrations party idea of 2009 in our twtpoll in the left-hand column. If you missed any of these great posts, you may want to consider subscribing to our e-newsletter. That way you’ll never miss a minute of the celebration!

Party Ideas

1. Patio Crawl Tina says: “I like this because it’s hip to host at any age. It can be held virtually anywhere from a large subdivision to a small apartment complex. If you wanted to include the opposite sex, it wouldn’t too hard to modify. What a great way to celebrate the fall season! And last but not least…I secretly really, really, really want to host one of these ~ sounds like so much fun.”

2. Welcome-to-Town Cookie Party Tina says: “I love that you can host this for girls of all ages. It’s a unique twist on the old favorite cookie exchange. It’s a fun way to get the “chore” of seeing all your close friends and extended family without traveling from house to house during the time-crunched holiday season.”
3. Karaoke Girls Night Dawn says: “Classic GirlfriendCelebrations: Fun, easy, cheap, and unique. This is a great Japan-themed girls night to warm up a winter night by bringing out your inner diva.”
4. Good Scents Fragrance Party Dawn says: “I like this party not only because it is different, but also because it was developed in response to a reader request. And, it’s a collaborative effort. Several smart readers contributed suggestions.”
5. Guide to Swap Parties for Frugal Girls Nights After the book swap, accessory swap and fashion swap, what else can you trade with your girlfriends? Well, there’s more! Here’s a roundup of ways to play swap-o-rama with your gal pals.

Friendship Articles

6. Seven Steps to Better Girls Nights Great New Year reading, this article has all you need to know about making girlfriend time a priority and how to make the most of it.

8. Girlfriends Meet Mizrahi: Another real-life adventure, except this time it was the Girlfriends-in-Chief having the adventure meeting fashion icon Isaac Mizrahi. This story started and ended with girlfriends!

9. The Mighty Queens of Freeville: Q&A With Amy Dickinson Dawn says: “We love recommending good, girlfriendly books, and this was one of my favorite interviews of the year. Amy had a lot of great insights on friendship and on women’s relationships.”

10.  Top Ten Ways to Help a Girlfriend Get Well: A thoughtful post that offers concrete suggestions for brightening the day of a girlfriend who’s under the weather. We like to think that offering easy, inexpensive, yet effective ideas is one of the things we do best at GirlfriendCelebrations.

Special Thanks to Our Guests

While we (hopefully) have your attention, we’d also like to give a BIG thank you to all our fabulous guest posters and contributors this year. They made our site so much richer and we truly appreciate their time and talents: Christine Arylo, Melissa Mellott, Casey Wohl, Julie Bestry, Kami Gray, Carly Huegelmann, Brooke Jones, Irene Levine, Izzy Rose. Thank you! (If we have forgotten anyone, please let us know.)

Girlfriends, thanks for spending time with us this year! We wish you stronger friendships in 2010 and more fun celebrating them!  xoxo Dawn and Tina

For the healthy, the holiday season can be hectic and harried. For the “Breast Cancer Warrior,” it’s all that and more. As a Breast Cancer Warrior  since November 2005, our girlfriend Brooke Jones knows that holiday gift giving can be challenging. After learning that she had become the 5th of 6 women in her family to hear the words: “You have breast cancer” she created a unique website for women, www.BreastCancerWarrior.net, featuring crucial information, expert articles, links to the Internet’s most-respected breast cancer web sites, and…humor. She hopes to reach every girlfriend with knowledge, education and laughter. So listen on as she guides us through gifts worthy of giving to the girlfriends we love.

By Brooke Jones

If there’s a BC Warrior on your holiday list, you might be asking yourself this question: “What do you give to the person whose one wish is to live?” Though the question is deep, the answer is simple: You give YOU. (and no, I’m not talking organ donation, I’m talking ENERGY donation).

Breast Cancer Warriors frequently describe the exhaustion caused by treatment as ‘feeling like somebody yanked out my batteries”. Every shred of energy is suddenly gone. Who knew it takes energy to just close your eyes? Trust me — it does, and in the midst of chemo and radiation therapy that was almost more energy than I could muster. So, speaking from extensive personal experience, I say to you that one of the greatest gifts you can give to a Breast Cancer Warrior is hands-on assistance with the innumerable tasks of day-to-day living.

And so, I recommend the following free and fabulous holiday gift idea: a Gift Card, from The Store Of You. Made redeemable for any of the following, it will be a priceless gift for the Breast Cancer Warrior in your life:

Babysitting

If the BC Warrior in your life is the mother of youngsters, offer to watch the kids (in your home) on specific days, for specified hours.

Even better:

A Child-Free Weekend

Give her some time to heal, take the kids to spend a weekend with you in your home. That would give a BC Warrior an exquisite (and desperately needed) vacation. (Several friends can sign up for this or other gift cards and by doing so can share the actual giving of the gift, thus making the gift last much longer).

House Cleaning

Dust, mop, do laundry, change the sheets on the beds, and vacuum (vacuum cleaners are often just too heavy for BC Warriors to deal with). Do what you can to help your BC Warrior’s home be comfy, cozy and clean once a week or once every other week for a specified period of time.

Home-Cooked Meals

This gift works best when you cook the meals in your home and then bring the food to your BC Warrior’s home.

Important food note: Before you start cooking, check with your BC Warrior to learn what foods she should not be eating right now. For many BC Warriors, anything containing soy is a ‘no no’, for example. There are also specific food ‘no no’s’ for BC Warriors who are undergoing chemotherapy, so be sure to ask before you start cooking.

For specific information on this subject, go to: www.BreastCancerWarrior.net, click on the FOOD WISE category, and read the article entitled: “Foods To Avoid During Chemo”.

Secretarial Service

Breast Cancer Warriors tend to have stacks of paperwork that need tending to, but their chemo-fogged brains just aren’t up to the task. As a result, the bills; the insurance paperwork; the ‘unbalanced’ check book; the medical reports; the thank-you cards; the disability applications, etc, etc, etc, ad (truly) nauseum, are often stuffed into a drawer where, it is hoped, they will somehow sort themselves out. If you have a sneaky suspicion that this description fits the BC Warrior in your life, then your services as a part-time Secretary will be a godsend.

As are gift cards that are redeemable for:

Dog Walking

Daily (if you can) or trips to the dog park on the weekends, make a welcome reprieve from dog duty.

Pet Sitting

Take the four-legged to your home for a few days or take the furry family members to the groomer for a professional cleaning. BC Warriors frequently have compromised immune systems, so having clean pets becomes more a matter of protecting the health of your BC Warrior than about her having to live with the oh-so-common winter aroma of ‘wet dog’.

Grocery Shopping

Make a list of the foods she needs (don’t buy things that she shouldn’t eat), and do the weekly food shopping for her.

Chauffeuring

Drive your girlfriend to and from doctor’s appointments, or drive her children to and from their regular activities. (and, by the way, if your BC Warrior is going through chemotherapy, offer to stay with her during a session or two. Having you there with her will make the treatment session feel less like a prolonged medical procedure and more like a prolonged visit with a cherished friend.)

Girlfriend Therapy

A Gift Card can even include a FRIEND’S THERAPY SESSION (in person or by phone), during which your BC Warrior is allowed to vent, scream, cry, and whine without interruption or judgment for thirty minutes. This one can be a real life-saver.

Many BC Warriors bottle up their fear, pain and depression because they think that’s what’s expected of them. Each time a BC Warrior hears the words: “You are so brave”, she feels the need to live up to that label. She’ll dig down deep, put on a ‘brave’ face and tell you that she’s ‘fine’, even though, just under the surface, she’s coming unglued.

As research clearly shows, ‘stuffed’ emotions amplify within us, creating an overabundance of adrenaline and stomach acids that can actually feed the cancer we are trying so hard to fight. Knowing that a BC Warrior has a safe place to dump her fears – where nothing she says will go any farther and will never be thrown back in her face — will help more than you can imagine.

So…all that remains is to design your gift card, print it out, and put it in a box. Wrap the box in fun paper, and place it under your BC Warrior’s Christmas tree. (which reminds me – helping a BC Warrior decorate her tree, and then, after Christmas, ‘un-decorate’ it, pack up the ornaments, and get rid of the tree is another gift that will be enormously appreciated).

And…if you knit, by all means do make the Gift Card from The Store of You redeemable for a few warm, cozy, adorable KNIT HATS. BC Warriors who have lost their hair to Chemotherapy know how quickly body heat sneaks out of the body through a hairless head….so, for Breast Cancer Warriors, hats aren’t a ‘vanity accessory’ worn to hide baldness, they are an absolute necessity, especially during the winter. (Many BC Warriors even sleep in their knit hats!) Make one to match her PJ’s, and one to match her winter coat. She’ll love them!

…and, of course, every BC Warrior could use a warm and cozy BC Warrior Zip-Up Hoodie. They’re perfect for chemo day and available online at the BC Warrior Gift Shop at BreastCancerWarrior.net

So, this holiday season, what should you give the BC Warrior in your life? Give the gift of YOU — your love, your laughter, your prayers and your positive energy. (And please do tell your BC Warrior about BreastCancerWarrior.net. The information and the laughter she will find there will be a gift unto itself)

Brooke Jones is a former stand-up comedian, Los Angeles radio personality and screenwriter. Now, in addition to fighting cancer, Brooke is the creator and editor-in-chief of BreastCancerWarrior.net — the internet’s unique breast cancer web Site, featuring crucial information, expert articles, links to the Internet’s most-respected breast cancer web sites, and …humor.